I keep trying to find the right words to recap this day. But my story hangs in my heart. Early in the morning, before I was even awake in California, my Uncle departed this world. I received the news right as we boarded the tender. I wanted nothing more than to run back to our room and bury myself away from the world. Instead I sat shaking next to my husband, trying to understand why people can’t just live forever. My heart is still raw.
The day was gloomy, which matched my mood. We hadn’t signed up for any excursions, so we were free to wander the island. I drifted in and out of grief as we meandered. There weren’t many other people pressing around us which left me free to feel what I needed to feel. B was amazing at giving me space to dwell and simultaneously gently cajoling me back to life.
My pilgrimage point was the bell tower on top of the hill. It was critical to my mental state that we make this point. B’s favorite method of drawing me out of grief was to point at surrounding hills and talk about the fortress he would put up there and how he would defend it. On our way back down to the ship, we visited a few stores including a couple of grocery stores so we could gawk at their food prices.
That night was formal night on the ship. I actually love the formal nights as I find that we don’t dress up enough in our every day life. We took advantage of the fun on the ship jumping into karaoke, the comedy club, and of course late night pizza. The only downside to such a short cruise was that we only had one formal night, I seriously wish that formal nights were a regular part of my life.
This was a hard day in my life. I think the worst part was being out of touch from my family and not being there with all of them. I was so glad that it was a fairly chill day but also that I was able to distract myself with the festivities during the evening. While it wasn’t the day I originally imagined us having, I was incredibly grateful to have that day be what it was.