Roller Coaster

January has probably been more like a minefield in the middle of the beach than a roller coaster, but somehow that seems too raw.

Which is how I feel right now. Too raw. I’ve worked really hard at not stopping long enough to think, or more importantly, to feel.

The first morning of our cruise was Catalina. We got on the boat for the tender to the island and that’s when my cell phone grabbed reception. It buzzed.

Heaven has one more cowboy.

How do you break down when you’re on a boat with fifty plus strangers? How do you hold it together?

You don’t think. And you try really hard not to feel.

Today marks one week since he slipped the bonds of life. One week without him feels like one week too long.

I’m still riding this roller coaster. I’m fine as long as I don’t stop to think. Don’t step on a mine.

I’m back to work today. Part of me is hoping I’ll be able to stay distracted. Part of me knows I need to take the time to feel it all. But I can’t yet. It’s still too raw.

Heaven has one more cowboy, and I’m missing the one I called Uncle.



About texancountess

I find myself in the calming roar of the sea, floating gently on the foam of the breaking waves. Blue. Green. Gray. The colors of the sea mark the boundaries of my soul. The tumbled glass finds its polish under the relentless pounding of the waves upon the shore. Thus am I. Rough transitioning to polish, refinement ever a process, finding my niche in the storms of life.
This entry was posted in Deep Thoughts, Family, Life and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Roller Coaster

  1. Kate says:

    Oh, I’m so, so sorry to hear this. Sending you lots of love.

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