We’re in another place again where there is so much to say and yet I have to wait to say it. We’re hanging on the precipice of making the decision to upturn everything and reach for the stars. It’s an exciting place to be, yet it’s a terrifying place to be.
I’m not comfortable in transition.
It’s a funny thing to say. I love moving around, I love starting anew and discovering new places. Yet, I hate the period right before and after moving. I hate the stress of wondering what will come next. I hate the depression that accompanies the joblessness with each move. I hate the uncertainty.
I’m just starting to feel at home here.
I have friends. B was gone all last week and I did dinner on Thursday, drinks the preceding Saturday, and a road trip the Friday before that all with a coworker turned friend. It’s not like we’re new best buds or anything, but we can get together for dinner or drinks and have a good time. It’s a new thing to have friends that aren’t related to the military in any form, shape, or fashion. I know it’s going to be hard to leave them behind.
Everything is uncertain.
In the past, every move has come with a certain amount of stability. Right now though, we’re faced with the most upheaval and uncertainty in our lives together. We aren’t sure where we’ll be going or what we’ll be doing. We just know that the clock is counting steadily downward to zero.
We have each other.
For now that is the only certainty we have. And it is enough. Home is wherever we’re together. And we’ll make it work, wherever we go, whatever we do.