I find it quite unsettling to learn new things about myself. It seems that by now I should know myself inside and out. I mean, I’ve been with myself for a long time now. How in the world do I still not know everything there is to know about the way I work?

I’ve been back at work for almost two weeks now. I’m not sure I really count the first week, as it was mostly training and hanging around watching the other girls work. But this week, this week I’ve been able to do my job.

I’m amazed by how good this makes me feel.

My job is a simple one. I check people in for their appointments, make sure their insurance is up to date, and provide general customer service for our department. Eventually I’ll get to scheduling people too, but that is still a ways off.

It’s simple, but doing it makes me feel so good. We are able to do little things, like get someone seen when they missed their appointment time by two hours or work them in early when their tests were scheduled far apart in time or even get them in when someone else changed their appointment to the wrong day. Maybe it doesn’t mean much to everyone, but to those we can help, I do believe it means something.

I came home just glowing from my work day. I texted B and told him that this job just makes me so happy. His response was that he’s glad, but not surprised, because he knows that I like to be useful. I had to pause.

Because, I do. I find fulfillment and happiness in being useful. Maybe it’s just simply doing my job and checking people in, paging x-ray techs, and laughing with my coworkers. Maybe it’s working with our techs to get a favorable answer for a patient. Maybe it’s calling in our boss to change some wording so that insurance will cover a procedure.

My position exists to facilitate a good relationship between the hospital and its patients. It isn’t anything earth shattering or ground breaking. But it is something incredibly useful. Something that needs to be done. And I love doing it. I love being useful.

It’s not every day that you get to learn something new about yourself. I haven’t been this happy with myself for a long time. I’m going to embrace this new knowledge and enjoy this incredible feeling.


About texancountess

I find myself in the calming roar of the sea, floating gently on the foam of the breaking waves. Blue. Green. Gray. The colors of the sea mark the boundaries of my soul. The tumbled glass finds its polish under the relentless pounding of the waves upon the shore. Thus am I. Rough transitioning to polish, refinement ever a process, finding my niche in the storms of life.
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5 Responses to Useful

  1. Alison V. says:

    I am the exact same way! I’ve had jobs where I just felt like I wasn’t making a difference, passing my time on Facebook, etc. and I hated it! I need to feel like I am contributing something to society.

    • Exactly! Just knowing that I’m making a difference, even if it’s as small as making a kid smile before an x-ray, has a huge impact on my job satisfaction.

  2. Army Amy says:

    There’s a lot to be said for feeling useful. That’s probably one of the things I miss about teaching. (Although, it was also part of the reason I got so burned out.) It just felt good to know that I was doing something worthwhile. I still get that in my new job, but I work so few hours that the good feelings that come from work just aren’t as frequent. Plus, after Thursday, I have zero work until August. What am I going to do with myself?!

    • I definitely got burned out at my two teaching jobs before I married my husband – it takes a lot out of you. I think this one will be a little easier so I’m hoping the drain won’t be as hard.

      Wow, May to August off? That’s pretty tough. After this last stent of unemployment, I definitely know I couldn’t handle the whole time off, but I’m not sure what I would do besides find somewhere to volunteer. I’ll definitely be reading to see what you plan on doing!

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