That Maternal Urge

I’ve been expecting it for awhile now. They say that your late twenties are the worst because you’re surrounded by procreating friends and family. It’s the magical biological clock that starts ticking and turns normally sane women into baby-crazed machines. At least, that’s what I’ve been told to expect.

My nephew is due any day now. I’m so excited for my sister and her husband. Ever since she told me about the time she and her husband were riding with their friends’ screaming baby and thought she was cute, I knew she had it bad. My Mom has been hoping it will be catching, luckily Turkey is a long way from Texas.

They say it’s in the water here. Of course, I’m pretty sure they say that at most military bases. Children abound everywhere. We’re definitely the odd ducks out for the most part, being married without kids. I don’t know if it’s the uncertainty of tomorrow or what that prompts the strong need to bring children into this world, but everyone in the military world has kids, or is pregnant, or is trying to get pregnant.

When we were moving from Germany to Turkey, B mentioned to his parents that he was considering a vasectomy. My MIL told him that he should be careful because I would change my mind about not wanting kids. Her reasoning was that in Germany we were surrounded mostly by single male friends, so of course I wouldn’t want kids. Since moving here, we’ve had several good friends with children.

I guess what I’m saying is that there’s been a lot of prompting on the universe’s part for getting my biological clock a-ticking. I’ve got all the family members (sister, cousins, etc) having children. I’m surrounded by pregnant friends, new moms, and more experienced moms. I’m at the “right age” to start thinking about having a family. Heck, we’re even debt free and at a fairly financially stable place. It seems that it’s time for the stars to align and for me to want babies.

Today, I drove a friend and her infant to the store. We walk together every morning and had decided that we wanted to try smoothies, but she didn’t have a car to get the stuff home in this heat. As I was unbuckling her son’s carseat from my car, I stared down at him. His chubby little cheeks puffed out around cute little pouty lips. His precious eyes, which are blue to go with his dark auburn hair, were scrunched up in sleep. He was so peaceful, so precious. My heart melted and I could only think one thing.

I’m so glad this child goes home with her.

Maybe I’m broken, but my biological clock sure is happy to not harass me into wanting children. I love them, don’t get me wrong, but I love them because they get to go home with someone else.

~The Countess~


About texancountess

I find myself in the calming roar of the sea, floating gently on the foam of the breaking waves. Blue. Green. Gray. The colors of the sea mark the boundaries of my soul. The tumbled glass finds its polish under the relentless pounding of the waves upon the shore. Thus am I. Rough transitioning to polish, refinement ever a process, finding my niche in the storms of life.
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4 Responses to That Maternal Urge

  1. When I saw the title of this post, I thought, “Oh, someone else has been bitten by the baby & I still haven’t.” I can’t tell you how I relieved I am to hear that I’m not the only one who’s thrilled to send adorable children home with their parents because… no, thanks, man. No, thanks. Not yet, maybe not ever.

    • And this is part of why I posted this. Because we aren’t alone. Because in spite of everything in my life “being right” I’m still not on the baby train. I do find my friend’s son delightfully precious, but it doesn’t make me want to run out and have one of my own.

  2. Alison V. says:

    You’re not alone! I want children (I keep bugging my husband about moving up his time line lol), but it’s not something that everyone wants, and there is nothing wrong with that! It’s a completely personal choice.

  3. I really, really needed this today. It is nice to know I’m not alone. I adore holding a newborn baby, but I love handing it back even more.

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