It’s one of those things we can’t help feeling. It arises for many reasons and occasions. And if we’re not careful it can keep us from embracing all kinds of opportunities. In my case, it almost made me pass up on an opportunity of a lifetime.
I’m talking about spousal guilt. I know girl’s who have felt guilty for getting massages while their husband is deployed. Girl’s who feel guilty for shopping/going out with friends while their husband is in training and barely gets 60 seconds to shower. And I feel guilty for traveling when my husband is stuck back at our home working. I feel guilt for the money spent on it and for the time away from him.
Last summer, I had an opportunity of a lifetime to spend a weekend in Prague with a girlfriend of mine from my grad school days. I almost turned it down because it required leaving B, spending money, and seeing someplace new without him. Yeah, luckily for me, he talked me out of saying no, and I had a wonderful time.
Late last month, he told me that I should go home to visit family without him. He doesn’t have the leave right now for us to do a big US trip and go on the cruise. Since the new cruise dates should be booked this weekend, that’s not really an option. I didn’t want to do it. I hate flying by myself, especially internationally. There was the cost of the plane tickets, the shopping cost, because let’s be real if I get to spend time at a mall, I’m definitely going to do some hardcore shopping, and the time away where I’m not earning any money.
We shelved the conversation due to my guilt. But, I’m here to tell you that if you want to take care of your spouse and your marriage (this also probably applies to children, but since I don’t have those I won’t make a statement regarding it) that you have to take care of yourself first.
And y’all, I’m homesick. I haven’t been in Texas since September of 2011 and that was a quick in and out for a wedding. I miss home. I miss my family. I don’t want to miss out on what is going on in their lives. It wasn’t until I decided to go that I realized just how much I have needed this.
If sending me home while he stays behind and works isn’t enough to nominate my husband for husband of the year, he is also sending my to the Bloggers in Sin City unConference. That ticket is already purchased. All I have to do now is decide on dates of travel and buy my plane tickets.
Trust me, I feel guilty that we’re going to drop all this money on an extended vacation for me. But I also know that it is what’s best for our family right now. I need this trip home. And I refuse to wallow in guilt over this gift that my husband is giving me. Instead, I’m going to be excited and make the most of it.
Do you allow guilt to keep you from doing things?