Shaking it Up

So, right after I wrote that post about keeping on with everything? I quit. I quit stressing and feeling ill all day. I quit crying in the bathroom during my breaks. I quit dreading waking up every morning. I quit feeling physically ill every Sunday night. I quit my job.

I know, it’s sort of backwards to everything I’ve been aiming for all  year. It’s okay to be shocked. I know that B was. I made the decision in about 15 minutes and it took him a whole week to come around. But come around he did. I now have two days left at the old job before launching in to teaching piano from my home. Right now I have 22 students scheduled and my goal is to at least double, if not triple that number.

So yeah, I’m back to where I was in March. Aiming to teach piano and stay a free lancer. I tried really hard to be the person that I needed to be to do the job I was hired to do. I still adore the kids there. But, it wasn’t worth the stress. It wasn’t worth the heart ache. It wasn’t worth the damage to my soul.

I went through a period where I quit believing in my own worth. I thought I had worthless degrees, that I’d messed everything up. And then, I remembered that I love music. I love teaching kids. And so I’m back to teaching piano. I’m back to believing that my dreams are worth having. I’m back to being okay with not fitting the corporate America mold.

So yeah, I’m shaking things up. I’m getting back to doing the things I love. Including blogging.

~The Countess~

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About texancountess

I find myself in the calming roar of the sea, floating gently on the foam of the breaking waves. Blue. Green. Gray. The colors of the sea mark the boundaries of my soul. The tumbled glass finds its polish under the relentless pounding of the waves upon the shore. Thus am I. Rough transitioning to polish, refinement ever a process, finding my niche in the storms of life.
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4 Responses to Shaking it Up

  1. Mary says:

    I go through spurts of that too – questioning my studies, placing their entire value on financial returns rather than how much richer my life feels because of my knowledge and skills. Glad to have you back :)

    • texancountess says:

      Thanks, I’m sorry I’ve fallen so far off the path. And yeah, life should be measured in more than just monetary gains.

      I have been out there reading, just not commenting, I’ve been paralyzed by the same malaise that’s kept me from blogging. Which means I owe you a belated but well deserved congratulations. :)

  2. Stereo says:

    I am SO happy for you. And proud. Cannot forget proud.

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