And then I blink and the next thing I know, 10 days have gone by without me saying anything. I wish it was because we were out having awesome adventures. Or because I’d started working a kick ass new job that has left me run down and with no time on my hands. But, the truth is that isn’t it.

The truth is that I don’t know what I want out of here anymore. Sometimes I dream of letting this site die down and go create a new online persona. One that can be me still, but that can talk more about what I do now. I don’t know why I’m not comfortable with being a military wife blogger on this site, but I think it has to do with feeling like it’s too easy to know who I am here. Which, is actually true. Most all of you know my real name, etc and that’s something I’m not sure I could risk if I wanted to blog truthfully about being a military spouse. Of course, that assumes that I actually have a readership or would attract readers as such.

Not having a set identity for this blog is wearing me out. And it’s keeping me from posting. I’ll think of something I want to blog about and then not know what to say. At the same time, I don’t want to turn the other blog into my main blog. Because that one is firmly attached to the real identity. There aren’t any nicknames over there and it’s posted to my facebook feed whenever I update. But that steals all the travel posts from this page.

So I don’t know what I’m going to do. Probably blink and find another month has gone by…

~The Countess~


About texancountess

I find myself in the calming roar of the sea, floating gently on the foam of the breaking waves. Blue. Green. Gray. The colors of the sea mark the boundaries of my soul. The tumbled glass finds its polish under the relentless pounding of the waves upon the shore. Thus am I. Rough transitioning to polish, refinement ever a process, finding my niche in the storms of life.
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4 Responses to Blink

  1. I used to have an anonymous blog, but once I got married, I didn’t want to do that anymore. It was much more open than what I talk about now. And I actually gave it to my family to read, so that it holds me accountable to never actually write something I wouldn’t be proud of. (like i would looooove to bitch about my mother in law, but unfortunately she sometimes reads the blog) . ive known people two have two blogs, one for brutal honesty and one that is more reserved.

    • Yeah, I have family and IRL friends that read this blog. And it’s more for safety sake so that if I want to complain about B’s commander, even in a vague sort of way, I can’t do that here really. Because I don’t need it somehow getting tied back to us.

      So, I guess I feel more like I have two blogs – the travel/family one that is mostly concerned with our day to day doings and trips. And this one, where I still can’t bare it all. :)

  2. Mary says:

    I feel that sometimes, a rut of not wanting to write, or wanting to but not knowing what sort of direction to take. I feel like my writing has themed phases; I notice trends in what issues I discuss at the time. Maybe a series of prompts might help you get your groove back?

    • I would love a series of prompts. Or a group, multi-blog challenge. I miss doing those a lot. I think I’m in a rut in general right now. I’m hoping that our upcoming trips and my starting work will help jolt me out of all of it.

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