It’s working y’all.
I’m not saying everything is sunshine, roses, and unicorns, but it’s getting pretty damn close. I still have my moments of ups and downs, but choosing happy is becoming less of a choice and more of a reflex.
We’ve had a lot going on here this last month. I should be writing this from our new base in Turkey, but alas, I’m still on my couch in Germany. We still don’t have orders and we’re still not sure when we’ll get them. I won’t lie, this is freaking me out a bit. I’m not too thrilled by the idea of having to stay behind in Germany in order to get everything to the next base. But, and this is where it’s big, I’m not shutting down over it. It isn’t paralyzing me or leaving me feeling like I can’t do anything.
I have managed to get out and walk Loki for at least an hour at least every other day. I do it most days, but every now and then I have a lot going on and can’t get out there. I believe that this has helped tremendously. It’s not “Exercise” and it’s not going to the gym, so there’s no pressure on me there to do it or feel guilty. But it is exercise and I do get endorphins from it and just that little bit has helped so much. I feel best on the days that I get up and walk Loki before lunch.
It’s little things. Small changes. But they’re having a huge impact on my life right now. I feel better and more hopeful than I have in months. Sometimes I feel the sadness looming, like a shadowy monster waiting to descend on me; but that’s when I get up and do something else. Find something to distract me. I’m not going back.
I’ve chosen happy and that’s where I’m going to stay.