Operation Bikini Body: 2012 Edition

Last year I started Operation Bikini Body to help get me in shape to wear a bikini for a cruise that was planned to occur in June but ended up happening in September. I didn’t just want to get in shape though, I wanted to change my attitude and views on my body image. I feel like I’ve gone on about my body image ad nauseum here, mainly where it stems from and the like, so I’m not going into that again here. Rather, I want to reflect on how last year went and where I want to go this year.

Starting back in March of last year I was somewhere around 158 lbs and pretty out of shape. I started going to the gym with B and lifting and doing cardio on a regular basis. In late April or early May, I weighed in around 164. The funny thing is that in spite of my weight going up, I was more confident about myself than ever. We started our roadtrip around the States with me feeling great about how I looked. I was positive that weight was just a number on a scale.

After half of May, all of June, and the first part of July were spent in travel I decided I needed to re-focus and B and I bought a scale. The day we brought the scale home, I stepped on it and saw 172. I’d never weighed that much in my life. All of my confidence vanished with one little flickering number. I got serious this time though. I joined myfitnesspal, started watching what I ate…and realized that we had terrible eating habits. Thanks to a year of living in vacation mode, we were way too comfortable with just eating out whenever we wanted. I was eating at least double the calories that I needed each day.

Pag, Croatia August 2011

By the time we went to Croatia in August, I was back down around 165 and by our honeymoon cruise in September I was around 158. I wore, and rocked, bikini’s on both trips. I’ve since lost another 5-8 pounds and hover between 150 and 153.

Cozumel, Mexico September 2011

So here I am, around 20 lbs lighter than I was back in July…and sadly just as insecure as ever. I have my “skinny” days and my “fat” days. Most days I’m happily confident and content to rock that bikini. Other days I make sure I have my towel wrapped tight around me until I can slip into the pool.

Which brings me to OBB2012. I’m the lightest I’ve been in years. I entered college at 145 and graduated at 158. So I haven’t weighed this little since college. And in college I’d have never dreamed of wearing a bikini. Oh the foolishness of youth. But I don’t want to feel that way going forward. I don’t want to look back on any of my life and worry about what I let my insecurities keep me from doing.

OBB2012 is going to my structure for that. I want to be a bit more organized about it this year. My plan is to report in around the first of each month. I want to set monthly goals and give myself some flexibility as the year goes on.With our move coming up at the end of this month, I know I need to get myself in a good place mentally and physically to help deal with it. We’re facing an undetermined amount of time in temporary housing and then we’re not sure how long until our household goods will show up. I want to set myself up for success this year. Not just in staying physically healthy but in becoming more emotionally secure and happy with who I am and where I am in life.

Without further ado, my January goals:

  • Work out with B on every off day. He currently works a 3-2-2-3 schedule. So he works three days, has two off, works two, and has three off. Our goal is to make the gym every off day and push ourselves hard. On his work days he’s up and gone by 0400 and not home until 1900 and he has the only car so no gym on those days.
  • Do something physically active on days when I don’t go to the gym. This can be a work out dvd, a walk with the puppy, pretty much anything to get moving.
  • Eat well. I’m not setting a weight loss goal for January. If I lose weight, that’d be great. But with the stress of moving and all of the unknown right now, I don’t want to stress myself with anything else. This month I want to focus on making the better choice. Not necessarily the best choice, just the better one.
  • Research and pick something to work on self worth, self confidence, etc. I’m not sure what I want to do yet. If I can find a book/journal to work through I may do that. If anyone has any suggestions I’d love to hear them.
  • Shower, do my hair and make up every day. No excuses. I vowed when I first got married that I wouldn’t become the girl who didn’t care about her appearance now that she’d secured her man. Now I need to live up to that promise.

That’s it for now. Pretty simple really. I need to get back in the groove of working out. I want to keep up the good eating habits. The big one is going to be the self esteem goals. It’s baby step time people.

~The Countess~

 

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About texancountess

I find myself in the calming roar of the sea, floating gently on the foam of the breaking waves. Blue. Green. Gray. The colors of the sea mark the boundaries of my soul. The tumbled glass finds its polish under the relentless pounding of the waves upon the shore. Thus am I. Rough transitioning to polish, refinement ever a process, finding my niche in the storms of life.
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2 Responses to Operation Bikini Body: 2012 Edition

  1. MJ says:

    Yay goals! I love that it’s about confidence and I think you’re going about it in a good way! Good luck!

  2. Ohmygosh! I’ve always had tons of self confidence…in every area of my life except when it came to my body. My parents drilled into me that no man would ever love me unless I lost weight. I had every doctor in the world telling me I was fat, as if that was news to me.

    I learned that more important that being thin, or being at my goal weight, is being happy with where I am. And if I’m not, being unhappy because of me…not because of outside forces. I should want to change for me…not for them. Not because society tells me to, but because I value my health and the body God has given me.

    Well, I lost 50lbs this last year. I’m still a tub of lard. I’m a size 26. But I’m content. Content because I’m working towards being the healthy person I want to be and knowing that I’m going to get there. And if I don’t, I know that I’m happy and everyone else can, quite frankly, go fuck themselves. ;-)

    Thank you for being so open about sharing your insecurities. Being willing to openly talk about them is a huge step in overcoming them. It inspired me to share my pants size with you. And I’ve never shared that with anyone, to the point that I avoid clothes shopping with friends because I don’t want them to know how big I am. Baby steps, right?

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