Last year I started Operation Bikini Body to help get me in shape to wear a bikini for a cruise that was planned to occur in June but ended up happening in September. I didn’t just want to get in shape though, I wanted to change my attitude and views on my body image. I feel like I’ve gone on about my body image ad nauseum here, mainly where it stems from and the like, so I’m not going into that again here. Rather, I want to reflect on how last year went and where I want to go this year.
Starting back in March of last year I was somewhere around 158 lbs and pretty out of shape. I started going to the gym with B and lifting and doing cardio on a regular basis. In late April or early May, I weighed in around 164. The funny thing is that in spite of my weight going up, I was more confident about myself than ever. We started our roadtrip around the States with me feeling great about how I looked. I was positive that weight was just a number on a scale.
After half of May, all of June, and the first part of July were spent in travel I decided I needed to re-focus and B and I bought a scale. The day we brought the scale home, I stepped on it and saw 172. I’d never weighed that much in my life. All of my confidence vanished with one little flickering number. I got serious this time though. I joined myfitnesspal, started watching what I ate…and realized that we had terrible eating habits. Thanks to a year of living in vacation mode, we were way too comfortable with just eating out whenever we wanted. I was eating at least double the calories that I needed each day.
By the time we went to Croatia in August, I was back down around 165 and by our honeymoon cruise in September I was around 158. I wore, and rocked, bikini’s on both trips. I’ve since lost another 5-8 pounds and hover between 150 and 153.
So here I am, around 20 lbs lighter than I was back in July…and sadly just as insecure as ever. I have my “skinny” days and my “fat” days. Most days I’m happily confident and content to rock that bikini. Other days I make sure I have my towel wrapped tight around me until I can slip into the pool.
Which brings me to OBB2012. I’m the lightest I’ve been in years. I entered college at 145 and graduated at 158. So I haven’t weighed this little since college. And in college I’d have never dreamed of wearing a bikini. Oh the foolishness of youth. But I don’t want to feel that way going forward. I don’t want to look back on any of my life and worry about what I let my insecurities keep me from doing.
OBB2012 is going to my structure for that. I want to be a bit more organized about it this year. My plan is to report in around the first of each month. I want to set monthly goals and give myself some flexibility as the year goes on.With our move coming up at the end of this month, I know I need to get myself in a good place mentally and physically to help deal with it. We’re facing an undetermined amount of time in temporary housing and then we’re not sure how long until our household goods will show up. I want to set myself up for success this year. Not just in staying physically healthy but in becoming more emotionally secure and happy with who I am and where I am in life.
Without further ado, my January goals:
- Work out with B on every off day. He currently works a 3-2-2-3 schedule. So he works three days, has two off, works two, and has three off. Our goal is to make the gym every off day and push ourselves hard. On his work days he’s up and gone by 0400 and not home until 1900 and he has the only car so no gym on those days.
- Do something physically active on days when I don’t go to the gym. This can be a work out dvd, a walk with the puppy, pretty much anything to get moving.
- Eat well. I’m not setting a weight loss goal for January. If I lose weight, that’d be great. But with the stress of moving and all of the unknown right now, I don’t want to stress myself with anything else. This month I want to focus on making the better choice. Not necessarily the best choice, just the better one.
- Research and pick something to work on self worth, self confidence, etc. I’m not sure what I want to do yet. If I can find a book/journal to work through I may do that. If anyone has any suggestions I’d love to hear them.
- Shower, do my hair and make up every day. No excuses. I vowed when I first got married that I wouldn’t become the girl who didn’t care about her appearance now that she’d secured her man. Now I need to live up to that promise.
That’s it for now. Pretty simple really. I need to get back in the groove of working out. I want to keep up the good eating habits. The big one is going to be the self esteem goals. It’s baby step time people.