Tact

<from here>

While out bowling with B’s German Handball teammates last night, the Goalie asked our friend Superwoman how much weight she had gained during her pregnancy. We’ll ignore the fact that you just don’t ask a question like that for now, and continue on with the story because it gets much better. Keep in mind that our dear friend Superwoman is 6’5. She told him she’d gained about 30lbs or roughly 13 kilos. His response was it looked more like 30 kilos.

No, she didn’t kill him, maim him, or in any other way hurt him. Nor did she smack any of the other guys who harassed her about smuggling a bowling ball, bringing her own ball, etc, etc, etc. Her only comment on the situation was that she hoped something had been lost in the translation.

My overall thought on the situation is, when did we lose our sense of tact as a society?

When is it ever okay to ask someone that you don’t know well (or even that you do) how much weight they’ve gained for any reason? This bleeds over outside of weight issues though I think it’s most prevalent and shocking there.

I’ve started the process of switching my piano students from me traveling to them to them traveling to me. I know it’s less convenient for them; but it means I can teach more students. The shocking part has been the lack of tact that the parents have in responding to me. They are very disdainful, rude, and inconsiderate. And these are mostly good people, it’s just something about the fact that they see me as so young that they aren’t tactful. A little tact goes a long way. And, truthfully gets you farther. The students that are getting the prime spots on the schedule are the ones responding with the most tact.

Maybe it isn’t tact so much as respect? Have we as society lost all respect for one another? And does that stem from having lost all respect for ourselves?

Certainly something to think about. And while you’re thinking about it don’t ask any pregnant ladies how much they’ve gained. They might not have the self-restraint that Superwoman does and they might just sock you in the jaw.

~The Countess~

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About texancountess

I find myself in the calming roar of the sea, floating gently on the foam of the breaking waves. Blue. Green. Gray. The colors of the sea mark the boundaries of my soul. The tumbled glass finds its polish under the relentless pounding of the waves upon the shore. Thus am I. Rough transitioning to polish, refinement ever a process, finding my niche in the storms of life.
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6 Responses to Tact

  1. Becks says:

    Seriously when you become pregnant everyone feels they can comment on it, or touch you! I never got used to being touched by strangers. You’d never just walk up to someone and rub their belly normally!

    I get asked all the time when we are having another child, it’s never going to happen (99% sure) for a number of deeply personal reasons but I get so cross when people just say “oh, you’ll change your mind” or “isn’t it a bit selfish him being an only child?”. Grr. People forget the person and feel like they are commenting on the pregnancy and kinda separate the two in their head. Particularly men in my experience because for them it is separate.

    Honestly, once you have kids, you are public property!

    • Yeah, the lack of personal space during pregnancy is scary. And the number of people who think they can comment on any decision of a personal matter – marriage, children, number of children, etc. It’s just not appropriate. People ask me all the time when we’re having kids and how many. They don’t like it when I tell them that we made a pact to not talk about it seriously for 5 years. They should though, if we discussed it seriously now the answer would be never and none. :)

  2. Stereo says:

    Your friend is good. Very good. Because someone would be missing their gonads asking me questions like that. You’re so right as is Becks, people these days think they have the right to open their mouths and offer observations and opinions on other people’s lives when they haven’t been asked for nor are they wanted. I tend to fight back; I refuse to sit quietly about it. I used to and I just got angrier and angrier until I couldn’t take it anymore. People need to learn to keep their mouths shut.

  3. I totally love you! Thanks for the phone call. Next time I’ll pay for it!

  4. Oh…and the misspelling of my domain was intentional. ;-)

  5. Shiny says:

    I totally agree and I also think it is respect. I used to be shocked when people would treat me like crap on the road, in the store, at work, at a family gathering…but not anymore. It just doesn’t surprise me – I expect it. Not as a pessimist, but as a realist. It’s hard because I know they’re own lack of happiness and self-respect is the contributing factor, but what can you do but be a good human being to yourself and others? I’m so glad for Superwoman that she didn’t let the goalie’s comments get to her – I hope they got to him, though. Karma’s a bit$&.
    Miss you…
    <3,
    M

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