I know I’ve been MIA. I’ve started half a dozen posts, only to realize that they were passive aggressive and would be better emails then blogs. I also haven’t wanted to whine. I hate whining. Especially when I’m doing it. And it’s been a rough few weeks for me. So I took some time to recharge, refocus, and remind myself that I’m awesome and worth being friends with.
The hard side of that was coming to the conclusion that I need to start cutting out the people who are just dragging me down.
Like the couple Jack and Jill – they’ve brought nothing but heartache to my life over the last month or so. The straw that broke the camel’s back came this weekend though, when I found out that Jill got the job that I gave her the info on…and she never told me, nor thanked me for the information. If she can’t even manage something small like thanking me for helping her get a job she doesn’t hate and actually likes, then I’m not going to even try and be friends anymore. For me though, this goes even further into truly wanting to find a whole new circle of friends. Jill is an amateur at being mean, compared to others I’ve faced off with in the past, but she still can mar an evening pretty easily.
Another light-bulb moment this weekend was talking with our good friend Cap. He was asking if he was wrong in being upset with people for treating him like shit and then not apologizing. We said no and mentioned calling them out on it. His response was that if he had to call them out, then they weren’t on the same level as he was and he wasn’t sure it was even worth it. That thought has really stunned me. Does that mean that I don’t have to confront people when they tell me they’ll do something and then they don’t do it? That I can expect them to apologize for their shitty behavior or I can write them off? It seriously jump-started my thinking.
I’ve come to the realization that in order for me to be happier and a better friend/spouse/whatever, that I have to be more selfish. I need to actually state my preference in where to go, what to do, etc. It means that I need to expect people to treat me nicely, hold them to it, and quit associating with them if they don’t. I have to take care of myself.
Because when I don’t. I just get bruised, my feelings get hurt, and it makes everything else worse. In turn, I then lash out over stupid things because I’m already upset.
This is where I say enough is enough. I’m taking care of me. Because I am worth it.