I’ll be the first to tell you that there are many amazing things about being married. Having someone to cuddle with on a cold night. Being able to split washing the dishes, taking the trash, cleaning the house. The sex. Having someone to lean on without worry that anything you go through could possibly change your love for them or theirs for you.
Truly, for me, being married has been blissful. If you’ve read here long you know that our road hasn’t been the easiest, mostly due to moving across the world right after getting married. But, all in all, I know that I’ve never been happier. My soul found it’s counterpart in B and whirlwind and crazy though it’s been, it’s also been right.
I’ve heard tell though, about the less fun sides of marriage. And no, I don’t mean fights or anything like that. More, the moments of “oh wow, we’re married” turning from happy shock to the realization that you both went the whole weekend with barely a shower between you. Much less the make up, cologne, and effort that went into your dating phase. It’s in the taking out of the trash, or choosing to spend your Saturday doing chores rather than going on a date. I guess, it’s the mundane pace of life creeping in and stealing the exciting moments.
We haven’t really had those though. I like the “oh wow we’re married” moments. Like when we worked through a disagreement on the handling of our finances – it wasn’t us disagreeing with each other, so much as us working through a problem to find the solution together. I’ll be the first to admit that B is much better at this than I am.
Then there’s the other rumor that goes with marriage. The one that the weight that comes on with getting married is worse than the Freshman 15. We’ve always laughed that off too. Just like everything else. After all, even if we didn’t eat well, we made it to the gym 5-6 times a week and B works out at least twice a day. (No, you don’t get to congratulate him or be in awe, it’s his job so he’d better do it) Except that, I’d noticed that the random times I’d weigh myself at the gym…the weight was going the wrong way. I put it off to my having gained muscle weight or because I’d eaten just before, especially since my clothes still fit just fine. But, when I started the Beat the Heat Challenge, I figured I would lose 10 lbs just to start. So I went out and bought a scale.
I weighed in on Sunday 15 lbs heavier than when I was married. My 11 month anniversary is in 2 days. B weighed in 25-30 lbs heavier. Now, we’re both tall, and no one would dare call us fat (except that one random guy in Amsterdam, but he doesn’t count) and we’ve both put on muscle mass. But, this is not the way we’d meant to keep our promise of staying healthy together. So we cut the crap food. And wouldn’t you know three days later, we’re both seeing positive downward trends. This without any crazy crash dieting. We’re both eating til we’re full. We’re just eating better things. And at home.
It was a rude wake up call. But, it was good for us. As a couple. Because we just found the newest problem to tackle together and all of a sudden meal planning is fun as we come up with ways to have tasty food that isn’t overly fattening.
I guess it’s just another way I refuse to give in to any marital conventions. And yes, I’m still blissfully happy. Just not with the extra weight.