Righting the Ship

It’s been a rough couple of weeks around here. I’ve been overly hormonal and sick, which are never good on their own, much less combined. I’ve taken some emotional blows from random strangers and the numbers on the scale. I’ve just wanted to give up.

But I’m fighting my way back now. After two missed weeks at the gym, I’ve made it the last two days. I have plans to work out tomorrow before work, Thursday after work, and Friday after work. We are planning on using the gym room at the different hotels along the way, knowing that we’ll miss a couple of days here and there due to events, but, planning to make it at least every other day.

I’m not going to lie and say that after 2 consecutive days working out that I feel just amazing. Because I don’t. These two workouts were hard. Really hard. I had to fight for every minute on the tread mill, I had to push through every repetition in the weight room. But I did it. I stuck with it, even when it wasn’t easy or fun. Amazing how far you can back slide in just two weeks. I’m taking it slow, not easy, but slow.

I’m still not sure if I’m going to rejoin back up with SFC. I was sabotaging my goals with it, and almost immeadiately found them overwhelming. My goals were the kind that worked for when it was just B and I at home in our “normal” routine. But add in visits and trips and it all fell apart. Some of it had to give in exchange for more important goals. I like the idea of it, I just didn’t plan it well considering all that was going on in my life at the time. I’ll still be out there reading and commenting though.

I haven’t been easy to live with over the last 2 weeks. I realized last night that I was still holding on to some things from months ago that I thought that I’d let go of. It’s crucial that I do so. They were coloring everything. And I do mean everything. Which is ridiculous.

I’m not pretending that it’s all rainbows and butterflies. It’s more like roses right now. Looks and smells good, but there are still some thorny moments. I’m okay with that. Every day is a renewed process of letting go. Every day is a new chance to begin again.

I’m setting my ship to right, and, even if it’s a long and thankless process, at least I’m starting.

~The Countess~


About texancountess

I find myself in the calming roar of the sea, floating gently on the foam of the breaking waves. Blue. Green. Gray. The colors of the sea mark the boundaries of my soul. The tumbled glass finds its polish under the relentless pounding of the waves upon the shore. Thus am I. Rough transitioning to polish, refinement ever a process, finding my niche in the storms of life.
This entry was posted in Life, Operation Bikini Body, Spring Fever Challenge. Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Righting the Ship

  1. Shiny says:

    I love your thorny Rose comment. It was beautiful, poetic, and…so true. I’ve found life to be like that all the time. Things never go 100% away – they’re always with you. You just have to fight it when you’re feeling the thorns and not appreciating the beauty. What I mean is, if you’re a healthy person, every negative experience shapes you into a better person…so there are positives to them. i.e. I’ve struggled with people emotionally and verbally abusing me about my weight for a decade and a half, therefore, I’m understanding and compassionate towards people because I’ve felt the pain of judgement and never want to inflict it on others. The trick is to not give up when the “thorn in your side” brings you and other loved ones pain. And you’re not and I salute you for it. I’m cheering you on and praying for you!!!!
    Love you, Miss you!
    P.S. Sorry for the really long comment!!!!! <3

  2. Stereo says:

    Shiny’s said it all really. You battle through the tough times and settle back into your rhythm. Yu and B are such an encouragement and inspiration for me. I think of and pray for you guys and know that you’ll come through the hard times. Love you, lady!

  3. Mary says:

    One of my favorite motivational quotes is from the movie “Elizabethtown” – “All forward motion counts.” You know what works best with your personal situation and its unique challenges; slow and steady is just fine, so as long as you’re moving forward. ♥

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