Please Don’t

Please don’t try and tell me you’ve practiced. I’m not dumb, you’re not my first student, and I can tell. Lying to me only makes it worse, I promise.

Please don’t act like you understand what a LDR is unless you actually do. And no, your boyfriend being a 2 hour drive from you is not long distance. Sorry, but, you don’t understand.

Please don’t give me a litany of excuses, I don’t care, you’re paying me regardless. The only exception for this is if they’re funny and will provide good blog fodder.

Please don’t dig for information more personal than you deserve. If I want to volunteer it, that’s one thing, but if I’m throwing up stop signs, then stop.

Please don’t tell me that I’m not really married because I didn’t have a church wedding. Or that my marriage is somehow less because it happened at a courthouse and there was no white dress.

Please don’t forget to actually cancel your lesson. Just not showing up will piss me off and one day I just might decide to not show up.

Please don’t think that you know more than I do. I am 3 times your age, have been playing piano for twice as long as you’ve been alive and I’ve been teaching since before you were born.

Please don’t tell me that moving to Germany was a perfect substitute for a honeymoon. Unless you’d like to give up yours just for that too. Now, if you have given up your honeymoon to move here and you know what it’s like to finally just pick a vacation and call it your honeymoon, that’s one thing. But if you tell me one more time that living here is my honeymoon, I may slap you. Or just tell you that living here is your grand European vacation.

Please don’t expect me to pick up your portion of the check. I will not combat split a meal with you. I will pay for what I ordered, you can pay for what you order. No I don’t even want to trade turns in picking up the tab unless it’s for a special situation. You like to drink 3 pitchers of beer with dinner, I like my one coke zero. I don’t want to pay the difference and I shouldn’t have to.

Please don’t set up a time to chat/talk/whatever with me and then blow me off. It doesn’t make it likely that I’ll try again. I get that you have to get up early for the time, but I have to take time off in the middle of my day. Or I have to stay up late.

Please don’t push subjects past their breaking point. Learn when to drop a subject, I’d hate to have to drop you instead.

Please don’t forget to pay me. And could you please bring exact change? It’s not that hard.

Please don’t tell me I charge too much for lessons. I’m charging almost half of what I used to charge. I’m the lowest price you will find in this area.

~The Countess~


About texancountess

I find myself in the calming roar of the sea, floating gently on the foam of the breaking waves. Blue. Green. Gray. The colors of the sea mark the boundaries of my soul. The tumbled glass finds its polish under the relentless pounding of the waves upon the shore. Thus am I. Rough transitioning to polish, refinement ever a process, finding my niche in the storms of life.
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4 Responses to Please Don’t

  1. Shiny says:

    Love the teaching ones – I don’t think you meant them to be funny, but from a fellow teacher – I SO RELATE!!!!! :-D
    Love You, Miss You!
    P.S. Way to "Keep it real!"

  2. Stereo says:

    You should print this out and turn it into a series of t-shirts that you can wear just so people are under no illusions about what they can and can’t do around you. Love this. A few of my pet peeves were in there too.

  3. myobi says:

    Hey girl! Long time no comment?


    3. any period of blissful harmony: Their entire 60 years of marriage was one long honeymoon.

    Word History and Origin:
    1546, hony moone, but probably much older, from honey in reference to the new marriage’s sweetness, and moon in reference to how long it would probably last, or from the changing aspect of the moon: no sooner full than it begins to wane. Fr. has cognate lune de miel, but Ger. version is flitterwochen (pl.), from flitter “tinsel.”

    and honeymoon stage

    an early stage in any activity, before problems set in. : You’ll know the honeymoon period is over when everything seems to go wrong at once. , Of course, this is still the honeymoon stage, but everything seems to be going all right.

    I always thought the term “honeymoon” was weird. People either seem to use it in a “once-in-a-lifetime” trip definition or to define a period of time before things in a relationship “inevitably” go wrong.

    Girl, don’t listen to those people. You have not had your honeymoon trip yet. You are ON your honeymoon. Make the rest of your lives together your honeymoon. You two may not be typical in any form or fashion, but your love for each other is stronger for it. When people tell you that moving to Germany is your honeymoon, respond that your whole life together will be the honeymoon. However, you’d REALLY like to get that trip in. ^_~

    Anyways, I know it may not make it any easier, but I hope it at least made ya smile.

    Love you.

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