Wisdom is a funny thing. You can’t really learn it from books. It’s an in-the-moment, learn-from-your-mistakes, get-it-through-experience kind of knowledge. You can’t fake it. You can’t make it. Some people are born with old souls – they come out with wisdom that belies their years. Some people never quite seem to grasp the difference between wisdom and foolishness. Maybe that’s because the line between them, like that between genius and insanity, is perilously thin.
I made a decision this year, that seemed foolish from most point of views. I had two great careers in San Antonio. I was surrounded by friends and family. I was the good Christian girl who didn’t make bad choices. And then I left it all to move in with my boyfriend 1500 miles away. As I was planning the move, I had people that I considered close friends grab my left hand and tell me they wouldn’t be happy for me until I had a ring on my finger. I had family tell me that I was way more likely to get divorced if I moved in with him before marriage. Sad thing is, that, there are those who still aren’t happy for me even though I am married now. They could extend censure for my foolishness but not celebrate with me in my joy.
Only, the decision wasn’t foolish. If I hadn’t moved in with B when I had, we likely wouldn’t be married right now. We’d be in a long distance relationship that would now span continents instead of states. It took us every second of every day to get all the paperwork through in time for me to move to Germany with him. None of that could have happened if I had been in Texas.
It was, without a doubt in my mind, the wise decision, the only decision that I could make. Do I wish I could have done it without disappointing friends and family? Do I wish that they could have chosen to support me instead of censure me? Do I wish that they could have celebrated my marriage with me instead of shake their heads and just wait for my divorce? Of course, but then, that makes them foolish and leaves me with the wisdom that only I seem to understand. If it was wise in retrospect, then it was wise to begin with, it just didn’t make sense at the time.