The setting: dining room table with pizza dinner. B has cooked dinner because his practice was moved an hour earlier. TC has just come home from 2.5 straight hours of teaching and 30 minutes of driving with a faulty gps. It should be noted that she has major cramps and has caught B’s devil of a cold)
TC: So, do we have any plans for tomorrow? Or anything we need to do?
B: Practice? (Which he leaves for at 7pm)
TC: Okay, then I’m going to probably do laundry tomorrow because I don’t feel well tonight.
B: (with a frown on his face) Oh, well we’ll have to get up early to do that because I want to get the car inspected since I’m not meeting SM to workout tomorrow.
TC: Didn’t I just ask if there was anything for tomorrow?
Needless to say, I’m doing the laundry right now. And yeah, I’m hormonal and in pain and I didn’t sleep last night because of cramps that Advil never did touch. Plus sick and pissed off at our GPS for continually losing the satellite only when I’m driving somewhere new by myself. Or trying to get home. Good thing I make lucky guesses. All of that aside, I asked a simple question got an answer and made a decision based on it. Only to have it revoked because of an answer not given. Ah the joys of communicating.
What is it about communicating with significant others that can be so hilariously and horribly difficult? Why is it so hard sometimes to be straightforward with them and just out and out say what needs to be said? After B derailed my non-laundry doing evening, I started cleaning the kitchen (he’s been revoked from dish washing – I refuse to have to check dishes he has washed to see if they’re actually clean and since I’ve had to rewash an entire set once, he doesn’t get to do it) and then started the laundry. He was getting ready for practice and comes into our room to tell me that I didn’t have to do the laundry if I didn’t want to do it.
Yeah, I’ll admit it. I laughed at him for that one. And asked who would do it if I didn’t. Maybe he didn’t remember telling me that he would do the laundry when he came home from the gym this afternoon. I’ll ask when he gets home tonight. But, the reality is, the laundry has to be done. So I might as well do it while he’s off at practice.
I read other blogs about spouses fighting over stupid shit and I don’t want to fall into that ever. Even more though, I don’t want to fall into being resentful over said stupid shit. Sure I asked if we had anything, he said no, and then rescinded as soon as I mentioned putting off laundry; but really, is it a big enough deal to actually get upset about?
It isn’t to me. Though sometimes I need a bit to realize that.