It’s a question I hear quite often. Variants are as follows. How do you like Germany? Isn’t it fun being in a new country? How’s life going for you? Do you know how lucky you are? What have you and B done so far?
My answers to the respective questions: good, I like it, sure, it’s going, absolutely, and so far we have secured an apartment in less than a week, arranged to have furniture delivered to said apartment, passed the German driving test with minimal studying, gone to lots of meetings on base, and searched for a job for me.
Doesn’t that all sound fun?
Don’t get me wrong, I am thrilled with where I am in life. I’m married to a wonderful guy. But, we’re still newlyweds. There are ups and downs. I’m still a girl. There’s PMS. Luckily, I’m pretty good at catching my PMS moments and not actually getting bent too far out of shape by them. We’re learning to get used to each other’s quirks. We’ve known each other for just over 10 months. We’ve been married six weeks. Now, we haven’t learned anything we don’t like, but, living with another person requires a pretty big adjustment.
I’m even happy to be in Germany. But I have some caveats with the place.
We don’t have a car. That means we walk or bike everywhere. That means that I never feel cute anymore. I can’t wear skirts or dresses (my fave thing to wear), I can’t wear cute shoes unless they’re comfy enough for the walks, my hair is always messed up from the bike helmet, I get sweaty, the list goes on. I’m sure these seem minor and admittedly they are. But, we can also only get so far on bikes (especially me). In the 2.5 weeks that I’ve been here I’ve seen Ramstein and Ramstein Air Base. I’ve seen way too much of our hotel room, it’s not that big and there’s not much to do.
I don’t have a job. I haven’t worked since July 23rd. It’s starting to take a toll on me. I don’t do well with just sitting around. I’m borderline depressed (self diagnosis) because I feel like I have no purpose and am not contributing to our financial situation. It’s something I just have to wait out too.
I don’t have my friends. I’m a people person. I like going and doing things. I hate sitting around all day. B is good at it because he likes playing video games. I find myself just killing time until he wants to go do something. I know that I’ll make friends, but my main resources – job and church – haven’t come together yet. Church shopping is hard in Germany seeing as I need it to be in English. And I can’t find anything out about the base services online.
So yes, I’m doing fine. I have good days and down days. Sometimes I cry. A lot. B is gone 4 evenings a week from 7-11 ish. Strange how we went from him working 15 hour days to this and I have a harder time with this. During the day we’re busy with chores, meetings, errands, etc and now we don’t have evenings. Plus, I have nothing to do during this time so I’m very much at loose ends. I’m adjusting. I’ve decided to go to the gym while he’s at practice. It’ll give me something to do and help my endorphins and body image. That will start next week seeing as the gym hours were restricted today due to a stand down day.
Don’t feel bad if you’ve asked me any of these questions. I do know how lucky I am, but this is still a huge adjustment for me. I’ll get there. We’ll be able to get out and start actually going places. I’ll find a job and make friends. We’ll get into our apartment and eventually get all of our belongings. I’m excited to set up home. I miss cooking. I miss having a place that is mine. Soon. So me? I’m doing good, just adjusting to a new country, a new husband, and a new life.