Normal or Not?

Alright friends and readers, I have a question for you about what is and isn’t normal. I’m going to go ahead and preface this story and question with the comment that it’s not causing any problems for me, I’m just curious as to whether you think this is normal, or if you would do it.

A short time before B and I met and started dating he broke up with his girlfriend of a year and a half, let’s call her VJ. She wanted to date other people, didn’t want to be in a long distance relationship, and all that jazz. I mean, she called him shortly after they broke up to tell him that she was sleeping with another guy, classy, right? Fast forward to 6 weeks after we started dating and she realized her mistake and what she’d screwed up. (He’s an awesome guy, she really lost out) And she tried to get back together with him.  He said no.

The day we got married she texted him, it was coincidence as she had no idea we were getting married that day, but, I found it odd. (PS I know about all of the texts because I use his phone to text and call his friends for him when he needs a message sent but can’t do it at the moment. Or if I need to talk them. We have no secrets here.) Over the next week or so, she texted him when she was going out on Friday and the like. Being the good wife I am, I brought it up. Just straight up asked as we were going to bed one night. (Crafty I know, but I find it easier to ask questions that I’m afraid will make me come off as petty and jealous in the dark, because that way he can’t see the shame on my face. ;)

And he said that he’s now a sort of big brother to her. W.T.F. Is that normal? Most of my exes, while I might still be friends/acquaintances with them, I’d never consider them to be like a brother. In my experience, girls who do this are doing so because they want to get back with the guy, and that’s the only role he’ll play for her. Am I wrong? Is this normal?

Note, your answers are purely of interest to me. I’ve already told B that it doesn’t bug me if he is in contact with her, as long as it’s open and up front. I really don’t mind. It bugged me a little before we talked about it, but once we had, it didn’t. I find it strange on her part to want to continue contact with him, but, I trust him completely. He’s a solid and amazing man. Anyway, she hasn’t texted him again that I’m aware of, but, I know where we both stand with him. She’s the ex that is like a little sister to him and I’m his wife. I win.

~The Countess~

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About texancountess

I find myself in the calming roar of the sea, floating gently on the foam of the breaking waves. Blue. Green. Gray. The colors of the sea mark the boundaries of my soul. The tumbled glass finds its polish under the relentless pounding of the waves upon the shore. Thus am I. Rough transitioning to polish, refinement ever a process, finding my niche in the storms of life.
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2 Responses to Normal or Not?

  1. Meg says:

    I have an ex I’m close to in an excessively platonic way, but it didn’t happen in the amount of time that it took B to feel like a brother to VJ. We’ve been broken up for about 5 years at this point. And I still wouldn’t describe my relationship with him as that of siblings.

    B is obviously very open and could very well feel that way, but I think it’s important to consider how VJ feels. She broke up with him, but spent some time trying to get him back after he was gone and moved on.

    So, no I don’t think it’s normal. And you totally win!

    • Yeah, I know that he doesn’t have anything but platonic feelings for her. And not much at that. It’s actually her I’m worried about. I’m afraid she isn’t letting herslef move on and that she’s harboring hopes of getting bak together with him. Even though he’s married now.

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