Happenstance

I’m not sure I even believe in happenstance. Coincidences are also out. As is luck and karma. I’ve seen enough bad things happen to good people to know that you can throw all the positive energy out into the cosmo that you want…it won’t help you. And yet, when you least expect it, something so good and so amazing can happen, that you feel it must be happenstance.

If you had asked me last year where I would be in a year I would have had an answer for you. I’d have told you that I’d still be living in SA and teaching for YOSA and SMH. I would have hoped to have more students and greater hours. I was happy, having fun, and just about to date a jerk for a few weeks. But, regardless, I was set on living in SA for quite some time. Now, I’ll never say never, but, I liked being only an hour from my Mom and Dad. It meant I could jet home on weeknights for dinner and Top Chef with my sister, or galavant all over with my Mom on the weekends. Daddy was only an hour away if I needed him, like the time I wrecked my car and he saved me over 5k in costs on getting it fixed. I had friends, good friends who I worked and played with. Enough aquaintances to mean that I rarely spent an evening at home. If I wanted yogurt, wine, and a quiet evening talking I knew who to call. If I wanted a chick flick, drinks, sushi, and dancing I had folks I could call. I was still close enough to H-town to see my friends there every few months.

I was also, pretty much the golden girl of the family. I always did what everyone expected of me. Not because they expected it of me, but, because it made me happy. Here I was, doing what they said couldn’t be done, making a career, and a profitable one at that, out of music.

I was happy. I mean, there were moments when I was sad. Moments when I wished that I had someone to come home to, but, most of the time, I just picked up the phone and was off again with my girls. Keeping too busy to notice the silence at home except to appreciate it when I finally fell into bad at night.

Then, happenstance. One of the friends of the drinks and dancing variety had been pushing me to go dancing with her at a country-western dance hall. I like country music, or rather, I like modern country that is mostly southern rock. But I don’t like two-stepping with just girls. Call me crazy, but, I prefer to take my own guys. I’ve definitely been skeezed on while two-stepping and having guys there generally subdues that. But, she roped my cousin into going and I was the meet-up location.

I wish I could say that I was determined to have fun that evening. I wasn’t. I was determined to look cute. But, I really had a kind of bad attitude about going. I remember at one point that I was straightening my hair, and I actually told God that I didn’t see any point in going, that it wasn’t like I would meet my future husband there, and that it would be a waste of my evening. I’d rather go get drinks and chat at a bar. But we went anyway.

The first part of the evening was about what I expected. We were approached by one mid-40s guy. We changed sides of the dance floor and were immediately approached by three guys. Even then, I wasn’t sold on the group. The first guy I danced with led with his hips, if you know what I mean… But, my cousin was actually dancing (she loathes country music) and my friend was really enjoying herself with the guy she was dancing with. When they came off the dance floor (my friend not my cousin, my cousin’s dance partner only let her off the floor to get a drink and then they were right back at it) we semi-separated from the guys and when they came back, the first one I had danced with went to talk to my friend. Her dance partner approached me. We talked for the rest of the evening. We went on a date the next day and followed it up with six more in his last three weeks in town.

We’ve been dating now for eight months. And, it seems strange to say it was fated for us to go and meet that night. But, it seems strange to say that we weren’t supposed to meet too. And now? I’m farther away from home then I’ve ever lived. I’m applying for jobs at the local mall and worrying about being over qualified. Half of my dad’s family is disappointed in me for moving up here unwed and unengaged. I couldn’t be happier or more fulfilled.

And to think it was all…happenstance…

~The Countess~

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About texancountess

I find myself in the calming roar of the sea, floating gently on the foam of the breaking waves. Blue. Green. Gray. The colors of the sea mark the boundaries of my soul. The tumbled glass finds its polish under the relentless pounding of the waves upon the shore. Thus am I. Rough transitioning to polish, refinement ever a process, finding my niche in the storms of life.
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2 Responses to Happenstance

  1. ~L says:

    humm… you sound confused. Have hope. I know it’s hard. I will pray for you today:)

    • Thanks! I’m actually okay. I think that part might be confusing me though. I mean, it seems like on paper I’ve made the worse decision possible – moving off to another state to live with my boyfriend without any job prospects – and yet, I know that it’s the best decision I could have made.

      The stuff that should bug me – my dad’s family being upset with me, being over qualified and having a hard time finding a job, being so far away from my friends and support group – actually don’t bother me in the least.

      I made the only decision that I felt I could at the time. Moving up here was the only solution to the distance in my long distance relationship. And things are going so well in that regard. So, I find myself just contemplating what it is that brought me here. And, in some respect, how strange it is that I’m so much happier now, with my ducks scattered all over and not even remotely resembling being in a row, than I was when everything appeared to be perfect.

      Thanks though for the prayers. I always appreciate those.

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