As promised I’m back to philosophize about the need that relatives seem to have to question single women the way they do at weddings. Some other wedding thoughts first though:
Mom, I love you, you are an amazing cook, organizer, decorator, and planner. However, you will be none of these things for my wedding. You will have one job when I finally get married, ok, maybe two and those are: to have fun and to be there experiencing it with me. The family did all of the food prep and site set-up and tear down for both of the last two weddings. Way to chaotic and no fun at all. My first thought then is that I will not do this to my own mother. Instead of worrying about cooking the cake, making snacks, covering bulletin boards, or anything else, she will be spending the time with me and my family, celebrating this time. And that’s final. There will be no arguing over it. This is non-negotiable. Especially the clean-up part. I’m not sticking around to clean up after my wedding and neither is the rest of my family. If we make the centerpieces than we’ll grab those, but we’ll rent everything else from the site and pay the fifty or hundred bucks that they want as a janitor fee. It’s worth it. Same thing goes for paying for the cake and whatever other food we decide to serve. That’s all that I feel the need to say on this topic. Sorry if it steps on any diy-er toes, but really, I like to diy, but not when it stresses everyone else way out. Nope. Not gonna happen.
On to the next part and possibly the thing I like least…or dislike the most, about getting together with family. Why do they feel the need to question my singleness? The two cousins that just got married are 27 and 29. I’m much younger than that. So why are their parent’s asking me if there are any special guys in my life? As a matter of fact there are quite a few special guys in my life, some are single, some married, some dating, none of them are my boyfriend, but they’re still special guys in my life. Another set of family members who ask this question have a daughter who is two years older than me…and very single. So again, I feel like the questions are undeserved.
What is it about weddings that make relatives decide its okay to ask every unwed girl why she isn’t married yet? Do they ever stop and think that maybe it isn’t in her control? Do they really think that I want to be the only girl from my homeschool group not married or in a relationship? I don’t even want to be asking these questions. I am glad that I’m not married right now. I’m getting a chance to live my life. To realize how much more there is to the world than my small little town. But weddings when single suck.
Even if you aren’t invited to bring a date, people still question you why you aren’t dating anyone. They start asking if there are any eligible guys that you see regularly, which for me means church. And if the answer is yes, there are eligible guys around, then they question why one of those guys isn’t dating you. And the honest to God truth is that I don’t know. I don’t know how I went through a school known for its MRS degree and got out without ever being asked out. I don’t know why none of the guys I know have asked me out and frankly I don’t care. It’s none of their business anyways.
Besides, if there was a special guy, don’t they think I’d be talking about him? Now, I know that I talk about a lot of guys. That’s because I hang out with a lot of guys. But, I’m still not dating any of them.
If any of my relatives happen to stumble across my blog (highly unlikely) then know this – if/when I am finally dating a guy, you will know. It will come across the family grapevine to you and all will be well in the world. Until then, don’t ask questions like this to your single relatives at weddings, or you might end up with responses like these:
Top Ten Responses to Nosy Questions about Boyfriends (This list was helpfully compiled by some friends of mine as a response to my plea for what to say the next time faced with this question.)
10. I’m a lesbian now.
9. I possess the gift of chastity/singleness.
8. Kinda. He…well, she, um, is sorta both
7. If you knew my options, you’d be single too.
6. No, but there’s a pretty special girl in my life. (to be followed with pictures of a pet)
5. Actually, I’ve decided to go the non-traditional route and am waiting to hear from a man in need of a spiritual wife to raise his other three wives children.
4. Not any boys that I’m not sleeping with for money.
3. I’m Christ’s Bride now, how can it get better than that?”
2. I think there was one last Thursday. I had a lot to drink, though, so there may have been two…”
1. I fear the one-eyed snake.