OBB 2012: March

My goal for the first two months of the year was to not gain any weight while we were in the chaos of moving. All I had to compare was our move from Minot to Ramstein and that was a crazy time. The quick recap is as follows. We got notice of the move on 11 August, married on 17 August, packed out on 13 September, roadtripped from 14-21 September, moved into the hotel in Ramstein on 22 September, and finally moved into our home with temporary belongings on 15 October. Our actual belongings didn’t come in until 30 October. The month we spent living in hotels, we truly lived in just a hotel room. In Germany we had a mini fridge and a microwave. So we ate out. A lot. We also had to stay off base, so we took taxis more than we walked. We did buy the bikes, but shortly after that we rented a car because I needed to travel further than the distance the bike gave me.

And here we are now. This time around we got the notice of the move way back in November. And then everything sat until Valentines Day. Then everything moved so that two weeks to the day we were in Turkey. And here we are. This time around our hotel has two bedrooms, a living room and a kitchen with full fridge, oven, toaster, and coffee machine (not that we drink coffee). I have all the pots and pans I need and the commissary is only about a 5-10 minute walk. We’re on base so walking is the only option we’re willing to use. Even after the car gets here we probably won’t use it much as gas is expensive and nothing is outside of walking (or biking) distance.

The moves unsettle me a little bit. I mean, I like moving, but there’s something about not knowing anything about where you’ll be living or what you’ll be doing there that can get to you. Still, I’ve tried really hard this move to keep my feet under me. I’ve been watching my portions and trying to eat only half servings if we eat out. I walk anywhere from 5-10 miles a day and we’re going to the gym on top of that. It’s no wonder then, that I feel the best that I have in a long while.

I only brought one pair of jeans with me and thanks to the dog have figured out what a mistake that was. Even though I loathe buying clothes at the BX, I figured that I should get another pair of jeans at least to have nicer ones to put on if we went out with other people. I fit into a 6. My hips have always been my largest part, and I mean, hey I have a butt and I like it. But I’ve never worn a six in pants. It was a huge boost and a reaffirmation that eating half portions at restaurants and walking and counting the calories is all worth it.

I won’t have access to my scale until God alone knows. It’s looking like we’ll be in this hotel well into April thanks to a shortage of houses. I found one at the gym that seems to be pretty accurate, but I’m not going to use it for official weigh ins. At least, I don’t think that I will.

My goals for March are pretty simple, but here they are nonetheless.

1. Workout 5 days a week – now that we have a gym and it’s only a 5 minute walk, I want to be there at least 5 days a week to do weight lifting and cardio that goes above and beyond walking the dog.

2. Eat out only on the weekends – It’s so easy to get into the habit of just grabbing food out, and I really want to fight that trend while we’re here. We can cook, therefore I would like to because it’s so much healthier if I make it.

3. Walk the dog daily – he needs it and so do I. The more I move and the less I sit, the better it is all around.

4. Make the most of my minimal wardrobe – I moved with only 1 (now 2) pairs of jeans, 6 shirts, 3 dresses, and two skirts plus my exercise clothes. B has said I can buy more clothes, but I want to wait until I know what kind of work I’m going to be doing. And of course, I also want to maybe have all my other clothes be too big by the time they get here so that I can just buy a whole new wardrobe. Yes, I am a bad person.

OBB is supposed to be about more than just the physical and add in my emotional health as well. I feel like I’m doing well so far with this move. There’s a lot of sunshine here, so that’s helping a lot. It’s not like when we moved to Germany and I spent the whole first weekend alone (B had to fly back to the States) and in tears because of how alone I was. I am keeping close track on myself though.

Still, I really feel like this new base could be extremely good for us in so many ways. Our health is at the top of that though. Both of us are committed to eating healthier and moving more. And at least for right now, we don’t have a lot of other options.

 

Do you have any goals for March?

~The Countess~

OBB 2012: February

Happy First Saturday of February! It’s hard to believe that we’ve already said goodbye to the first month of the year. I’m okay with that though, because these winter months have never been my favorite. February brings us that much closer to the glorious summer months where I will be living very close to a beach. Oh beaches, how I’ve missed thee.

January actually went pretty well for me. Here are my goals and a recap of how I did.

• Work out with B on every off day. So this goal modified very quickly into trying to do it. His off days fly by so quickly that we were always having to choose between the gym and walking the dog. So we bought an elliptical. This way we can walk the dog and still get in a workout.
  
• Do something physically active on days when I don’t go to the gym. I have successfully walked the dog about 75% of the days of the year so far. Some I missed because it’s rainy and I don’t do walks in the cold rain.
  
• Eat well. This one I’d mark about 50-50. I have slipped back into just eating out on B’s off days instead of insisting that we eat at home. And not just for one meal, no we’re back to eating out the majority of the meals on his off days out. And that’s just not acceptable. However, I’ve kept my portions under control and have been drinking more water. I maintained this month and I’m fine with it. I’ve found a happy place, weight wise, for my body.
  
• Research and pick something to work on self worth, self confidence, etc. I found a book to read and a journal to write in. The book was called Angry Conversations with Godand was written by Susan E. Isaacs. I also picked up a devotional journal called the Frazzled Female. I think I’ve completed 2 days in it so far. It’s a start.
  
• Shower, do my hair and make up every day. Hahahahaha, hahaha, haha, yeah… So, I did shower most days at least. Typically not until much later in the day. Especially since I now have the excuse of using the elliptical. Which I’ve only done twice in the week we’ve had it. Hmm, that actually doesn’t sound as bad to me now.

So, overall, I’m pretty happy with how January has turned out. I’m pretty happy with my body right now. I still think I want to try to lose another 5 pounds, but I’m also pretty sure that won’t be happening until we move. Because, oh yeah, we still haven’t moved and probably won’t until the end of this month. So once again, I’m facing a month where they will come take away all my belongings and ship them off to my new home. With that in mind, here are February’s goals.

• Actually use the journal that I bought. And you know, for more than just a paper weight. This is more about spending time focused on me (and God) and less about the actual subject matter of the book. Though I definitely feel like a frazzled female these days.
• Drink more water. I got out of the habit of drinking large quantities of water every day and I want to get back into it. I’ve done better this past week, but I still have a long way to go.
• Quit eating out senselessly. This is what I call it when we decide to go to base to run errands at 1100 and just go instead of eating at home first. It has to stop. We tend to just eat junky fast food that makes my body feel gross. Of course, the caveat is that once they take away my belongings I won’t have much to cook with, okay more like nothing. So, yeah, I’m going to have to figure this one out a bit.
• Use the elliptical while we still have it. I want to use it at least half of B’s work days and half of his off days. I don’t even have to use it for long. I normally walk for an hour with the pup so even 15-20 minutes would be good. But I’m way too good at justifying not using it.

That’s it for February. Nothing too lofty seeing as how we’re supposed to be moving. Just some goals to keep me rolling until we’re in our new home. And then it’s game on for getting healthier and maybe losing these last five pounds.

~The Countess~

Operation Bikini Body: 2012 Edition

Last year I started Operation Bikini Body to help get me in shape to wear a bikini for a cruise that was planned to occur in June but ended up happening in September. I didn’t just want to get in shape though, I wanted to change my attitude and views on my body image. I feel like I’ve gone on about my body image ad nauseum here, mainly where it stems from and the like, so I’m not going into that again here. Rather, I want to reflect on how last year went and where I want to go this year.

Starting back in March of last year I was somewhere around 158 lbs and pretty out of shape. I started going to the gym with B and lifting and doing cardio on a regular basis. In late April or early May, I weighed in around 164. The funny thing is that in spite of my weight going up, I was more confident about myself than ever. We started our roadtrip around the States with me feeling great about how I looked. I was positive that weight was just a number on a scale.

After half of May, all of June, and the first part of July were spent in travel I decided I needed to re-focus and B and I bought a scale. The day we brought the scale home, I stepped on it and saw 172. I’d never weighed that much in my life. All of my confidence vanished with one little flickering number. I got serious this time though. I joined myfitnesspal, started watching what I ate…and realized that we had terrible eating habits. Thanks to a year of living in vacation mode, we were way too comfortable with just eating out whenever we wanted. I was eating at least double the calories that I needed each day.

Pag, Croatia August 2011

By the time we went to Croatia in August, I was back down around 165 and by our honeymoon cruise in September I was around 158. I wore, and rocked, bikini’s on both trips. I’ve since lost another 5-8 pounds and hover between 150 and 153.

Cozumel, Mexico September 2011

So here I am, around 20 lbs lighter than I was back in July…and sadly just as insecure as ever. I have my “skinny” days and my “fat” days. Most days I’m happily confident and content to rock that bikini. Other days I make sure I have my towel wrapped tight around me until I can slip into the pool.

Which brings me to OBB2012. I’m the lightest I’ve been in years. I entered college at 145 and graduated at 158. So I haven’t weighed this little since college. And in college I’d have never dreamed of wearing a bikini. Oh the foolishness of youth. But I don’t want to feel that way going forward. I don’t want to look back on any of my life and worry about what I let my insecurities keep me from doing.

OBB2012 is going to my structure for that. I want to be a bit more organized about it this year. My plan is to report in around the first of each month. I want to set monthly goals and give myself some flexibility as the year goes on.With our move coming up at the end of this month, I know I need to get myself in a good place mentally and physically to help deal with it. We’re facing an undetermined amount of time in temporary housing and then we’re not sure how long until our household goods will show up. I want to set myself up for success this year. Not just in staying physically healthy but in becoming more emotionally secure and happy with who I am and where I am in life.

Without further ado, my January goals:

• Work out with B on every off day. He currently works a 3-2-2-3 schedule. So he works three days, has two off, works two, and has three off. Our goal is to make the gym every off day and push ourselves hard. On his work days he’s up and gone by 0400 and not home until 1900 and he has the only car so no gym on those days.
• Do something physically active on days when I don’t go to the gym. This can be a work out dvd, a walk with the puppy, pretty much anything to get moving.
• Eat well. I’m not setting a weight loss goal for January. If I lose weight, that’d be great. But with the stress of moving and all of the unknown right now, I don’t want to stress myself with anything else. This month I want to focus on making the better choice. Not necessarily the best choice, just the better one.
• Research and pick something to work on self worth, self confidence, etc. I’m not sure what I want to do yet. If I can find a book/journal to work through I may do that. If anyone has any suggestions I’d love to hear them.
• Shower, do my hair and make up every day. No excuses. I vowed when I first got married that I wouldn’t become the girl who didn’t care about her appearance now that she’d secured her man. Now I need to live up to that promise.

That’s it for now. Pretty simple really. I need to get back in the groove of working out. I want to keep up the good eating habits. The big one is going to be the self esteem goals. It’s baby step time people.

~The Countess~

 

Fire Up For Fall: Week Four

Hey everyone! I hope you’ve all had great weeks. Fall is truly arrived here in Germany. Our average temperatures this last weekend were in the low 50s and upper 40s. Brrrr.

1. What have you done this week to achieve your goals?

a. Do at least one random act of kindness a week. Check!

b. Lose 8 lbs – that’s just one lb a week for the remainder of the challenge. Down 1.5 this week for 2.5 of 8 lost so far.

c. Practice piano at least 3 times a week. I played twice this week, B started studying for the GMAT, so I curtailed my practicing to give him so quiet.

d. Read 15 books I’m still at 5 of 15. But we’re going on a bus trip *hopefully* this weekend that would afford quite a bit of time to read.

e. Plan at least one date event with B each week. Oh so successful this week. We did dinner and a movie at home. We’ve also worked more on spending constructive time together every evening. Amazing.
2. What have you done to make yourself feel fabulous?

I did two things this week. First, I took this weekend as a guilt-free weekend. Yes, I still logged my calories, but I didn’t worry about working out or staying under my calorie goals. And I still had a loss this week. I needed the chance to go eat some food that tasted good without worrying about where it was going. I’m so glad I did. Second, I bought some make up and some clothes today. I tend to feel very guilty about spending money, which I think I’ll blog about soon. So to go out and buy things that I want and need without feeling the need to apologize is an awesome accomplishment for me.
3. What is your go to food or activity when you’ve had a bad day?

My go-to food used to be Whataburger. It’s a Texas staple and was always what I wanted when I was PMSing or sick. My comfort foods range from banana bread or hamburgers to sushi, it really just depends on my day. I don’t really use food to cheer myself up though, that’s what my husband is for. My favorite go to activity is to either go to the gym or to go cuddle with my husband. There are no ills in this world that his hugs cannot fix.
4. What’s the last thing you did that you were really proud of?

Pride is an interesting thing. I am proud of myself for getting started on having all my finances tax ready (I’m self-employed and paid in cash so this is a pretty big deal.), I’m proud of myself for shopping without feeling guilty. I’m proud of myself for the 13.5 pounds that I’ve lost since July. I’m proud of myself for sleeping on our last flight back from the US to Germany. I’m proud of myself for standing up for myself. They’re all little things, but, these everyday choices are majorly contributing to my over all happiness, and I’m inordinately proud of that.
5. Fun Time:  What was your favorite school subject, and your least favorite? Why?

My least favorite subjects in school were Geometry and Science. Geometry I hands down hated. I was good at it, but I found it to be a waste of time. I couldn’t stand having to write out proofs that had already been proven. It seemed useless to me. And Sciences were just always boring to me, what can I say, I’m a humanities girl. Speaking of that, my favorite subjects were music, history, and music history. I actually have my Masters Degree in Historical Musicology.

Positive Picture

me with my three sibs and the newest husband in the family

Here’s to a great week for all of us!

~The Countess~

Svelte

It’s a word, that to me conjures up images of movie stars, Jessica Rabbit, and models. Slender and elegant is it’s standard definition. It’s a step above slender and a far cry from skinny. Maybe it’s what I’ve always wanted to be.

I have a strong memory of sitting in Sunday School next to my sister as a child. We were still attending the Presbyterian church in my home town, so it was before highschool. Likely it was somewhere between my 12th and 13th year. The year that I shot up like a weed. I went from being a half inch shorter than my sister to three-quarters of an inch taller than her in just one week. Can we say awkward much? One of the ladies of our church (yes I remember her name, no I’m not using it here) came up to us. She told my sister how she was just growing more lovely and that she was going to be such a beautiful, lady-like, etc, woman. Then she looked at me and told me that I was going to be so tall and gangly.

It stuck.

Yesterday though, a comment was made that lifted my day. I was sitting at a piano helping a highschool student with his work. His Mom, one of my favorites, breezed in from her job to pay me and take the younger sister to dance. She’s always put together, always sweet, the kind of Mom that I want to be if I ever decide to become a Mom. And she looked at me and said, “You look great. You’ve gotten so svelte. Not that you weren’t before, but now…” I think I could have touched the moon I felt so great right then. Thanks to her being busy and then sick and then busy, I actually haven’t seen her since early August. So, she’s seeing me with most of the weight difference.

I won’t lie. I’ve been waiting for someone to notice. Waiting for someone to say something. B tells me all the time how great I look, but I was waiting for someone who didn’t know to comment that I looked slimmer, healthier. Never did I dream that I would get svelte. It’s my new happy word for myself. And it’s bolstered the knowledge inside me that the me I’m fighting to become is the me that I want to be.

Tall and gangly svelte. And happy as can be.

~The Countess~

The Vanity of Sizing

I’ve made no secret of my quest for weight loss here. Even though this isn’t a “weight-loss blog” I have done several challenges both with others and by myself to lose weight. I started the year with my Operation Bikini Body that was a focused attempt to find the confidence to wear a bikini as well as working to tone up. With Beat the Heat, I set and met an actual weight loss goal.

Today? I feel great about myself – yes, I still want to knock off some weight and continue to get into better shape. But, I’ve come so far. How do I know this? Because today, I found a cute pair of jeans at the BX – dark, straight legged, dressy denim trousers. The kind of jean that is my weakness. And they’re by Michael Kors – so they’re gorgeous and well designed.

I bought them in a size 10.

Yep, I’ve lost 11 lbs and moved up a size. At least, in this designer’s clothes. For most, I wear an 8. For some a 6 and now a 10 too. And that’s the vanity of sizing.

I saw last week over on My Fitness Pal, a whole group of girls going off against losing to a number goal on the scale – you know because that’s unhealthy to fixate on a certain weight – and instead were intent on meeting a size goal.

I want to be an 8. I want to be a 2. I want to wear size 4. I want to get to single digit clothes.

It’s a false goal. I can go into the right stores and buy all size 4 clothes. How do I know? Because a friend of mine who is the exact same height/weight/proportions as me (almost, I have bigger boobs) wears size 4 from these companies. Or, I can shop designers like Michael Kors and be bumped back up to a 10. Mostly I fit right into the 6-8 category.

I worked for White House Black Market for 6 weeks during grad school. Besides being a staunch reminder that I don’t want to work retail, I learned a lot about sizing during that time. My favorite manager said that if he could cut the size tags out of clothes he would. And he had a great point. These beautiful women would come in to our store – they’d be size 8s, 10s, 12s, and 14s – and beautiful. And every one of them would try to wear clothes too small for them. We did our best to get them into clothes that fit them, regardless of size, but it was a lost cause with some.

I understand trying to be free of the tyranny of the scale. An arbitrary number doesn’t do anyone any good. But the same is true for the size of clothes. I knew a girl who was a size zero – beautiful, slender, perfect for her body shape. When she got married, she had to buy a size 4 wedding gown and she almost had a nervous breakdown about being “so big.”

I have gone through phases where I wouldn’t buy a cute pair of pants because they were 10s or 12s and “I don’t wear that size” was all that my brain would say.

Working at WHBM really helped me to dress my body and not a number, though that always needs tweaking. But, I would so much rather look good in an outfit, than be squeezed like homemade sausage into casing, just to have a lower number on the tag. I’m proud of my size 10 Michael Kors jeans – they fit me fabulously – with a curved butt and flat abs.

Just remember, that numbers – be it on the scale or on the tag of clothes – can either be arbitrary or meaningful. The number itself does not reflect on the value of the person. Or sometimes, the actual size. Strive to look and feel good for yourself – not for some standard that society tells you that you should achieve.

And the next time you go shopping? Grab your normal size plus one above and one below. Buy the one that fits the best. Not the number that you want to represent yourself. Trust me, you’ll be happier in well fitting clothes.

~The Countess~