Wrap Your Head Around It

B and I leave on Wednesday to go back to Michigan for Christmas. I am nervously checking the weather every hour or so because I’m terrified of anything that will keep us from making it back. It also gives me something to focus on besides the neon elephant hiding in the corner. I’m actually grateful for the drama that Thing One’s fiancee is causing because that’s more distraction from what’s really on my mind.

Y’all, I last saw my family on September 15. It was my Dad’s 65th birthday and I saw them for a couple of hours before launching into my MoH duties for a wedding. We’ve always been a close family. I mean, my family drove 6+ hours round trip in order to have a 2 hour dinner with us. My sister and I would go home every weekend during college and all because we loved spending time with our family. When I went to grad school I hated that I was the only one who was too far away for Sunday afternoon dinners. When I got to pick where to live, I chose to live within an hour of my folks so that I could see them regularly. My Mom and I were big shopping partners and family dinners were a regular occurrence. I never wanted to live far from my family.

Until I met B. He is the game changer in my life. He turned this small town Texas girl into a world traveler. He took this girl who wanted to put down roots and showed her how to thrive without them. He changed everything.

September 15, 2011 was the last time I saw them. I may not see them again until 2014. We move to Turkey in a month. We’ll make one trip to the States for Thing One’s wedding. And that’s probably it. Tickets are too expensive, leave too hard to come by, and we’re just too far away.

Two years.

And we chose it.

That’s the fluorescent elephant sitting next to me on the couch. I would make the choice again. Because, you see, this choice is selfish. But our two years there are two years that B should not be deployed. Two years away from them so that I don’t have to live without him for six months.

It’s hard to wrap my head around it. Hard to think about not seeing them for so long. Hard to think about all the changes that two years will bring.

But that’s still easier than thinking about B living in a war zone. B facing death without me there to hold him at night. He’s my game changer. He’s my smile. I will do anything and give up anything to stay with him. Even choose two more years at a geographically remote location. Even pick two years too far away from family.

I have to be with him. And that? I can wrap my head around.

~The Countess~

Thankful Thursdays: Family Edition

There’s a part of me that just wanted to skip today. That just wanted to bury my head in the ground and go back to sleep until winter was over.  That didn’t want to think at all about being grateful. But in the typical manner of how my life goes, whenever I’m feeling down or blue I find someone who has more reason to complain than I do and instead they’re showing gratitude for what they do have. Today’s version of that included a friend’s post on facebook about going to say goodbye to her Dad who is losing his battle with cancer. Talk about the gentle two-by-four to the head. I have so much to be thankful for. So, even if I’m not feeling it, I’m going to choose to feel it anyway.

 

Today I am thankful for:

1. My parents and that they still have their health

I have always been so lucky to have a fabulous relationship with my parents. They’ve always been so supportive of me and all of my endeavors.

2. My siblings and that we all get along

Sure, we have our ups and downs like all siblings, but for the most part we’re a fun, loving group. We’re separated all around the globe now, but we stay in touch via facebook, skype, and video games. Hey, it works for us. (In the photo above it’s my baby brother, me, big sis 1 plus her new husband, and big sis 2)

3. My fabulous in-laws

I do not have the MIL from hell. I actually have amazingly fabulous in-laws. They’re as relaxed and quirky as my family. And yes, very dedicated to their country. The above photo was taken when my husband administered the Oath of Office to both his younger brothers as they were commissioned into the USAF. I was always worried about in-law relations having witnessed the strife it caused in my own family, but I’ve been truly blessed to have joined such a great family. (In the above photo: mom and dad D are sitting down, Thing 2 and his now fiancee, me and B, B’s big sis, Thing 1 and his girlfriend)

Family has always been important to me. And now, with all of us so spread out (my family is in Texas, New Mexico, Washington, and of course Germany; B’s family is in Michigan, Virginia, and Texas) they’re even more important. Our families mean the world to me.

What are you thankful for today?

~The Countess~

Family

I love my family. We are quirky. We are strange. (Come on, Myobi, you know it’s true.) We defy conventions. Quite happily too. 

I’ve had friends say that I actually make sense after meeting my parents. My dad was a Sgt in the Marine Corps and my mom was a flower child. (See defied conventions) Mom always said she was going to raise us to be too conservative for the liberals and too liberal for the conservatives without letting us just be moderate. It worked. We all have our conservative sides and our liberal sides. Some of us are more so than others in certain ways. But we all get along (shockingly really) and we complement each other in our craziness.

Naturally, with such an awesome family, I’ve always been a bit leery over the family I would one day (hopefully) marry into. I’ll go ahead and confess that I sort of hoped that my Mr. Right would be an only child or that he wouldn’t be super close to his family (yeah, I know, it was horrid of me, but I was all of like 15 when I had these thoughts) so that we could be close to my family without any problems. Because I couldn’t imagine not being with my family for holidays.

Besides, everyone always says in-laws like they actually mean out-laws. All you ever hear about is the over-bearing mother-in-law. (Whether it’s his or hers I think depends on who is doing the telling, because all mother’s can be over-bearing. It’s only insupportable when it isn’t your own mother doing it.) And, I’ve witnessed my share of in-law disasters and nightmares with friends and family. Naturally, I was a bit afraid of what my in-laws might be like and often found it easier to just day dream them away. Even in my dreams I didn’t care to be a martyr. No family for him was easier than family that might not like me.

Of course, life rarely works out the way we want it to, and thank goodness for that. B is one of 4 just like I am. He’s the second child with an older sister and twin younger brothers. And I’m somewhat surprised to find that I like his family too. (Not just saying this, I actually do really get along with his family) I’m sure I’m not exactly what they were expecting the oldest son to bring home to marry, but, his mom has stated many times that she likes me and thinks I’m good for him. (If only she knew…)

Now, I’m so excited about the family that I’ll be gaining. I always did want more brothers. And I guess technically his big sister is younger than me…so I finally get to have a little sister after having been the youngest sister (I do have a younger brother too) my whole life. His family is also quirky and fun. They defy conventions too.

Of course, we’re kind of solving the whole “where to spend the holidays” issue (I’ve heard that this can actually cause real problems within families, thank God we’re military and won’t always have time to be off) by moving to Germany. We’ll be “stuck” over there.

Still, I’m excited about creating my own family from the two wonderful families that claim us both.

~The Countess~

Where is the outcry?

The College of Santa Fe is facing having to close their doors. After a deal to have the university’s debts assumed by Laureate fell through, the school thought it had found a solution in being purchased by Highland University. The only problem is that before Highland, a New Mexico state school, can purchase the College of Santa Fe, a private school, the New Mexico State Legislature has to pass a bill allowing the state school to acquire both the school and the land it sits on. The Governor specifically asked Highland to not purchase the land that CSF sits on until the government has passed the bill. CSF was counting on the purchase of the land to help them hold over financially until the purchase of the school could go through. Now, they are having to let faculty and staff go and they’re incouraging their students to look into other options for education afer this semester.

Why isn’t this all over the news? Where is the outcry over this?

Our news is filled with news about trashy celebrity relations; about unwed, unemployed mothers having octuplets; about car companies asking for more money. And here is a university that is facing it’s downfall, students facing the loss of their school and stability and it doesn’t even earn a spot on CNN?

CSF could be saved by something as simple as the New Mexico Governor allowing Highland to purchase the land before they pass the law regarding state schools acquiring private schools. His website, http://www.governor.state.nm.us/index2.php has a link where he can be reached by email and his phone number and physical mailing address. I am asking that you respectfully write to him and ask him to reconsider the plight of the College of Santa Fe. It shouldn’t be hard to pass a bill saving a university. A bill saving the students that call CSF home.

If you are wondering, no I am not a CSF alum. My brother is currently a student there. And he, like many CSF students, finally found a place where he belonged there at CSF. I  hate to think that the community he has found there will disappear due to governmental red tape.  The following video was made by students and professors at CSF. And I believe that it beautifully portrays the atmosphere and community of the College of Santa Fe.

If you want to help check out CSF’s official website. And if you think it doesn’t affect you than I ask you to consider this: What if this was your university? Your alma mater? Your family member who found a community hey belong in?

~The Countess~

Christmas Time’s A-Comin!

I cannot believe that in 10 days it will be Christmas. Only ten more sleeps until Christmas. It’s a tad bit overwhelming. I’m not quite finished with my shopping. And I’m really excited. The things I’m really looking forward to this year:

Just spending time with my family. As us kids get older every year it seems harder for us to all spend time together. And that makes the time we do spend together more precious.

Meeting James. He’s my cousin’s British boyfriend. I cannot wait to meet him.

Watching my sister introduce Jon to the family. That’s her boyfriend and he’s the third Jon to be introduced as a significant other. And, it will be fun to make her squirm as he meets everyone.

Not being in school. I’m really enjoying this break. I’m savoring every class free day.

All this to say – Christmas is coming!

Christmas Time’s A-Comin’
Christmas Time’s A-Comin’
Christmas Time’s A-Comin’
And I know I’m goin’ home.

Snow flake’s a-fallin’
My old heart’s a-callin’
Tall pine’s a-hummin’
Christmas Time’s A-Comin’.

Can’t you hear them bells ringin’, ringin’
Joy, don’tcha hear them singin’
When it’s snowin’, I’ll be goin’
Back to my country home.

Christmas Time’s A-Comin’
Christmas Time’s A-Comin’
Christmas Time’s A-Comin’
And I know I’m goin’ home.

White candle’s burnin’
My old heart’s a-yearnin’
For the folks at home when
Christmas Time’s A-Comin’.

Can’t you hear them bells ringin’, ringin’
Joy, don’tcha hear them singin’
When it’s snowin’, I’ll be goin’
Back to my country home.

Christmas Time’s A-Comin’
Christmas Time’s A-Comin’
Christmas Time’s A-Comin’
And I know I’m goin’ home.

Holly’s in the window
Home where the wind blows
The cane foam’s a-runnin’
Christmas Time’s A-Comin’.

Can’t you hear them bells ringin’, ringin’
Joy, don’tcha hear them singin’
When it’s snowin’, I’ll be goin’
Back to my country home.

Christmas Time’s A-Comin’
Christmas Time’s A-Comin’
Christmas Time’s A-Comin’
And I know I’m goin’ home.

Christmas Time’s A-Comin’
Christmas Time’s A-Comin’
Christmas Time’s A-Comin’
And I know I’m goin’ home.

~The Countess~

The Joys of Home

I came home this weekend. It’s been amazingly restorative. There’s just something about being at home. I’ve been running around all over the place.

Last night I went to see Dracula as performed by the Wimberley Players. I must confess to having never read Dracula before. So, I had no preconceived notions. And I also have to confess to having fairly low expectations. But I must say that I was delightfully surprised. It was superbly done. And I had a blast. Although that could have had a lot to do with seeing two cousins and my sis and her boyfriend. It was a good evening.

Today my Mom and I ran around to nowhere and did a bit of shopping. It was fun. It wasn’t so much about where we went and what we bought as just about spending time together. It helped me feel better about a lot of my life decisions that I have made, am making, and will make.

Tomorrow is the Rice-UT scrimmage at the Dell Diamond. Again, should just be a fun outing. I love family time. And, I’m going to go back to watching UT and Mizzou. And get out the tendencies to root for UT tonight…so that I can cheer Rice to victory tomorrow!

~The Countess~

Happy for you…

But if I didn’t jump up and down at your news there is a reason why. 

One of my friends told me that she is going to be an aunt early next year. Of course I am thrilled for her. But it still hurts me. See, I have two nephews. They are twelve and thirteen. And I have not seen them since the oldest was 15 months old. It hurts. I was all of eleven when my oldest sister and her husband divorced. And that’s how long it has been since I’ve seen either of the boys. At first we had limited contact…as in their paternal grandparents would email us pictures and we would send gifts through them…but even that faded very quickly. And so it is that when my friend told me she is going to be an aunt that I was both excited for her and sad that I don’t have contact with my nephews.

I don’t know why it is so easy to hear that my friends are expecting their own children and/or to hear them call me “auntie” to their children, but somehow hearing this other news was so much harder. Maybe it’s because I don’t have children of my own and I’m not in a place to have children of my own right now so it’s easy to be happy for my friends who are having children. And don’t get me wrong, I am honestly happy for my friend who is going to get to be an aunt. There is nothing more fun than getting to spoil a child.

Maybe it really is because lately, for some reason, I’ve been thinking a lot about the boys. I’ve been wishing that there was some way for me to get in contact with them. And yet, what good would that contact do them? It’s not like I can introduce their mother back into their lives…still, for my own sake, I wish that I at least knew where they were living…and that they were okay. And happy. I guess I’ll just keep praying for them. And I’ll continue to be happy for my friends and wish that I was able to be an Auntie to my nephews.

~The Countess~