Righting the Ship

It’s been a rough couple of weeks around here. I’ve been overly hormonal and sick, which are never good on their own, much less combined. I’ve taken some emotional blows from random strangers and the numbers on the scale. I’ve just wanted to give up.

But I’m fighting my way back now. After two missed weeks at the gym, I’ve made it the last two days. I have plans to work out tomorrow before work, Thursday after work, and Friday after work. We are planning on using the gym room at the different hotels along the way, knowing that we’ll miss a couple of days here and there due to events, but, planning to make it at least every other day.

I’m not going to lie and say that after 2 consecutive days working out that I feel just amazing. Because I don’t. These two workouts were hard. Really hard. I had to fight for every minute on the tread mill, I had to push through every repetition in the weight room. But I did it. I stuck with it, even when it wasn’t easy or fun. Amazing how far you can back slide in just two weeks. I’m taking it slow, not easy, but slow.

I’m still not sure if I’m going to rejoin back up with SFC. I was sabotaging my goals with it, and almost immeadiately found them overwhelming. My goals were the kind that worked for when it was just B and I at home in our “normal” routine. But add in visits and trips and it all fell apart. Some of it had to give in exchange for more important goals. I like the idea of it, I just didn’t plan it well considering all that was going on in my life at the time. I’ll still be out there reading and commenting though.

I haven’t been easy to live with over the last 2 weeks. I realized last night that I was still holding on to some things from months ago that I thought that I’d let go of. It’s crucial that I do so. They were coloring everything. And I do mean everything. Which is ridiculous.

I’m not pretending that it’s all rainbows and butterflies. It’s more like roses right now. Looks and smells good, but there are still some thorny moments. I’m okay with that. Every day is a renewed process of letting go. Every day is a new chance to begin again.

I’m setting my ship to right, and, even if it’s a long and thankless process, at least I’m starting.

~The Countess~

Spring Fever Challenge: Week 6

 What have you done this past week to help you achieve your goals?

What did you do this past week to make you feel good about yourself?

The answer to these first two questions is the same this week. I did nothing. I took the week off. I didn’t worry about working out/eating vegetables/thinking positive or any of it. I needed it. It was a major PMS week and I honestly just didn’t care anymore. Still not sure that I do, but here I am, still chugging along. I feel like my happiness got smashed by a Mack truck this last week and I’m still fighting to get my equilibrium back. Trust me, there are plenty of posts coming on it, so if you care about it, you’ll understand soon enough.

What goal are you having the most difficult time with? Do you have a plan to make it better?

Right now? All of them. I’d been rocking them all and now I just don’t care. Be it feeling like no one else cares if I hang around in this challenge or whatever, I just don’t know if I feel like keeping this up.

What goal are you rocking? Do you plan on keeping up the momentum?

See above.

Fun Question: What’s your favourite board game?

I like Balderdash. It’s always been a family favorite. Our lies are intense and deceptively simple. We’re good at convincing people that we’re telling the truth. I played with a church group once and I crossed the finish line before the rest of them were even halfway there. You have to be outrageous and outlandish while keeping it simple. And not fall in the trap of going with a lie based on what the word sounds like.

Positive Picture

 

the man who makes all the rest of it worth it

~The Countess~

Spring Fever Challenge: Week 5

 What have you done this past week to help you achieve your goals?

1. Hit the gym Workout 4-5 times a week

Finally made it there. Every time. Along with my goal of lifting 3 times. I feel so great about this, especially since I did it around my husband being TDY in Spain all week. Which meant I had no one to actually drag me up to the gym. Now I just have to rebalance and start adding my cardio back in.

2. Healthy Eating

Again, I’m getting there. Fruit intake is back up, veggies are creeping their way back up too. I’m doing much better at drinking water, milk, and oj instead of sodas.

3. Something Positive

I actually fell off-track with this one this week. With B in Spain and our communication limited I didn’t get to talk to him about my positives each day. I was lucky to get to talk to him at all. And I didn’t write them down. I kind of took the week off in that regard and wallowed in being melancholy and lonely without my husband.

4. Self-Image

I had a huge victory here with this one. If you read here, you’ll see I talk about weighing myself for the first time in a month and finding that I’ve gone up 4lbs. It doesn’t bother me at all. Because, I like what I see in the mirror – I’m still sitting right on the small end of  an 8 and I’m so happy here.

5. Adventurous eating

I went to a new restaurant with friends this week. And I tried something new (and very different for me) on the menu of a favorite restaurant. I’m counting these as little victories, because, again, with B gone I was just hanging on.

What did you do this past week to make you feel good about yourself?

I had a girl’s day on Wednesday and just reveled in being out. I also gave myself a great at-home pedi on Friday. And I allowed myself to wallow in B being gone. Didn’t try to deny my own feelings, just felt them.

It’s May! What were your victories in April? Challenges?

Victories really were how far I’ve come with my self-esteem and staying positive with things. Compared to where I was at the beginning of this challenge, I feel more like my old self. Kendra pre-Germany and pre-hormonal birth control. Mind over matter is proving to be quite an awesome thing for me.

Do you have any plans for the challenge in May?

I’m going to really step up the healthy/adventurous eating section. If all goes well, *fingers crossed* we get to book our honeymoon on Tuesday. Doing that means I’ll be going on a cruise ship with my bikini. So, I do want to keep everything going in the right direction. This isn’t so much about having an end goal as much as implementing changes that will reverbate for the rest of my life. Otherwise, I’m just going to keep on keeping on.

Fun Question: What is your favourite type of ethnic cuisine?

Chinese food. It can’t be beat in my opinion. My parents had really good friends who owned a Chinese restaurant and he (1st generation immigrant with his parents) taught us all how to cook Chineses. There’s a picture of the owner’s wife walking me around the restaurant at 6-ish weeks old because I was crying and she wanted my parents to have a peaceful dinner. This love of Asian cuisine extends to Sushi. And yes, I’m one of those people who can eat with chopsticks. I hate using a fork for Chinese food.

Positive Picture:

view of St Peter's Square from the Cupola - 551 stairs up

~The Countess~

Spring Fever Challenge: Week 4

Welcome to another fabulous Monday! Mine started off way too early to take B off to the airport. I’m home alone and working all week while he is, ahem, “working” in Madrid. Sometimes being the wife of a WCAP/Olympic Athlete is unfair. Him getting to go train in Madrid for a week is one of those times. Still, I’m determined that this will be a good week.

 

What have you done this past week to help you achieve your goals?

 1. Hit the gym Workout 4-5 times a week

Only made it to the gym 2x last week. I got sick which really didn’t help and my schedule seemed extra hectic. Hopefully with B gone this week I’ll actually make it my goal amounts.

2. Healthy Eating

I’ve been doing pretty good with getting in more water and limiting the soda intake. And the veggie/fruit intake definitely bounced back this last week. Now to keep building on success. :)

3. Something Positive

It’s been really great getting to share my daily positives with B. And since I’ve started focusing on the good things, however frivolous they are, I’ve noticed that I have a much better attitude then I did before.

4. Self-Image

This one is actually turning out easier than I had originally anticipated. I tend to be very down on myself, but, stopping the negatives has actually been really nice. It’s nice to glimpse myself in the mirror and think happy thoughts instead of downer ones. B has taken full advantage of knowing about this goal and been laying the compliments down right and left.

5. Adventurous eating

Still sitting at 1/10 for my recipes. But my MIL has sent me some new ones that I’m pretty excited to try. And we’re having a dinner party/movie marathon very soon where I’ll be taking a bunch of new finger food recipes. I’m pretty stoked about this one. The other eating fun news is that we’ve solidified a great group for dinner parties. Our size fluctuates depending on who is on leave, who is deployed/tdy and who is around, but we’re taking turns with hosting and having a blast. B and I were the hosts this last Friday and we served Coconut Shrimp with Apricot Horseradish sauce. One of our friends was my 4th convert to coconut shrimp loving with this recipe.

What did you do this past week to make you feel good about yourself?

A couple of things this week. I bought a full-length mirror for my bedroom. We only have little half-mirrors in our two bathrooms, so I’ve been having to catch my reflection in a darkened window to decide on outfits for the past several months (like, 6-7). I finally decided enough was enough and went and got a mirror. I’m so glad that I did. It’s so nice to be able to see my outfits and realize that I actually look really good in them. The dinner party was actually my other thing. I love having people come over and eat my food. I like cooking and hostessing. Maybe that makes me outdated and old-fashioned, but I don’t care.
Fill in the blanks:
_Music, teaching, speed reading, and talking_ come naturally to me.
_Being graceful_does not come naturally to me.
I wish _making friends easily_ came naturally to me.

 Fun Question:  What is your favourite Easter candy? Are you allowing yourself some this year?

I don’t have a favorite. I’m very strange. Because as much as I like cooking/baking things, I’m actually not a big dessert or sweets person. Savory foods are definitely my weakness. We have two chocolate bunnies that B’s mom left with us for Easter that are probably going to get thrown away. I still have candy from Christmas that we haven’t even touched. Now, there are some little German black-forest chocolates that I adore, but I still only eat one a week at max.

Hope everyone has a great week!

~The Countess~

Spring Fever Challenge: Week 3

I think I’m off in my count somewhere. Probably because I didn’t count the kickoff as week one. Oh well, I’m going to stick with the numbers that everyone else is putting up. Counting has never been my strong suit. I don’t care how many times you tell me that math and music are related, that only goes so far in my head.

My Goals:

1. Hit the gym Workout 4-5 times a week

2. Healthy Eating

3. Something Positive

4. Self-Image

5. Adventurous eating

1. What have you done this past week to help you achieve your goals?

Let’s see – I walked all over Rome, seriously people we were walking 4-5 miles a day, it was awesome. I climbed 551 steps to the top of St. Peter’s Basilica, ultimate stair-stepper. I actually did hit the gym once I got home for a weight session to get me ready for this week.

For my healthy eating, I stayed super concious of portion size and gave my husband lots of bites of my food – but I relaxed about the rest because I was on vacation and wanted to enjoy my gelato, thanks kindly.

The food in Rome did turn me into a more adventurous eater – I’m a hamburger and fries kind of girl so spending a whole week eating pizza and pasta was a huge change, I had an amazing seafood risotto that I’m going to have to figure out how to duplicate. So, no recipe this week, but I’m still 1/10 and I have plans for a new recipe this week.

As far as my something positives, the habit has changed from writing them down to sharing them with my husband each night before bed. It’s pretty awesome as we both list off the things that were positive about our day. I like the ritual of it.

For my self-image one, I actually went out the other night and felt like the hottest girl in the bar. Just writing that is an amazing step for me.
2. What did you do this past week to make you feel good about yourself?

I got my hair cut! I’ve been growing it out ever since I met B (Thanksgiving 09) and this is the first real hair-cut I’ve had since. It’s still shoulder length, but it’s much shorter than it was and I love it!
3. Are your SFC goals your ultimate goals or steps to your ultimate goals?  Do you find it easier to set big goals or do you like making mini-goals?

Steps along a path. Life is a journey, so some of my ultimate goals are so shrouded in the future that I don’t even know what they are yet. They’re all working together though. I’m on a quest to get healthier. I’m one of those girl-next-door types who sits at a size 8-10 without trying. So now I’m trying and I’m creeping my way down to a 6, but mostly this is about feeling good and being able to do things like climb to the top of the Basilica without getting exhausted.

I prefer smaller, more acheivable goals. I have grand plans in my head, so breaking them down to a manageable size is always a good thing.
4. What are some of your ultimate goals, things on your bucket list?

It’s funny, because, before this year I would have said make it to Europe to travel. And here I am. Living in Germany, traveling all over Europe. I guess that means that I need some new ultimate goals. Right now my big goal is getting to throw a vow-renewal ceremony/reception for B and I before our 5th anniversary.
Fun Question: If you could achieve only one more thing in your life, what would it be?

This one is hard. I want to continue making my husband happy for the rest of his life. Be there to support him, laugh with him, cry with him, celebrate with him and struggle with him for forever. We have our own little family of two now and I love it and want to nurture it.

us after climbing 551 steps up and 551 steps back down

 Hope you have a great week!

~The Countess~

Spring Fever Challenge: Better Late Than Never

Also known as Week 1. I tried really hard. I stayed up as late as I dared on Sunday night and just couldn’t get this off. And then I was gone for the rest of the week – absolutely no internet access at all. It was crazy and refreshing and I didn’t miss facebook at all. I may have to try detoxing more often…only not as severely seeing as I have no means other than the internet to actually communicate with my friends and family back home. Anyway, on to this week’s questions!

Positive Picture: Us in front of the Trevi Fountain

1. What have you done this past week to help you achieve your goals?

It’s actually hard to think back to that week, but I’m going to try my best. For week 1 I:

Made it to the gym 3 times, but one of the misses was because I was up the night before with food poisoning so I’m letting it slide. I’m really starting to love my weight lifting routine – I like the way I feel afterwards. I didn’t quite make my vegetable/fruit servings goal but I did much better than I had and I was very aware of not eating them, I’ll even go as far as to say that I missed eating them. I started tracking my positives and even if I didn’t write them down, I told them to my husband. We also tried a new recipe (1/10) and I’ll have that up for you guys soon.

2.What did you do this past week to make you feel good about yourself?

I went to Rome! :)
Is your mindset future-oriented or living in the now? How does this impact you when you are working towards a goal?

I straddle the two. Which sounds like a non-answer even to me. But it’s true. I work hard to live in the moment – just enjoy life and not worry – but the only way I can do that is to make sure that I’ve planned for the future too. I’m pretty good with goals, because I like the challenge that they represent – I tend to see goals as guidelines to improving myself – they are a process for me. I try to never get rigid or legalistic about them, but to take them in the nature that they were intended, that is, as a tool to help me be a better me.

Is there someone in your {real} life that inspires you to strive for the best?

My husband. He challenges and pushes me in every aspect of my life and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Fun Question of the Week: Do you read blogs on the individual websites or via Google Reader?

Individual websites. :) I love seeing the way people have designed their blog. I like getting to click through to their page. I may or may not have an addiction to checking blogs too.

~The Countess~

On Pause

My in-laws made it in yesterday for their Spring Break trip to visit with us. Which means that I’m running around like crazy to entertain them and get ready to get us all to Rome. Not to mention, I’m still doing a bit of teaching and partying with my friends.

With that in mind, I’m going to go ahead and pause the 30 Day Photo Challenge. I really want to finish it strong and I don’t want to be rushing out little snippet posts just because I need to get a post up that day. I’ll still be trying to check in every now and then – like while they’re getting ready to go or after they’ve gone to bed. I just can’t promise that it will be regular, especially since I don’t know if I’ll have internet in Rome or not. I’m also going to try really hard to get the SFC post up as well, though again our flight leaves out at 0530 on Monday morning and I’m 6-9 hours ahead of most of you…so I don’t know if that will happen either.

Hope you all have a great week! I know I’m going to have a ton of catching up to do when I get back.

~The Countess~

Spring Fever Challenge: Kick Off

Right after I got back from Texas after the holidays, I noticed that my friend MJ over at The Next Moment was participating in an awesome Winter challenge. I wasn’t smart or brave enough to go jump in on the challenge but when she mentioned that Amy was hosting a Spring Challenge, I knew that I’d be participating. I like having reasons to blog, it makes me more regular, kind of like good fiber intake. ;) We’re setting goals, doing something just for ourselves once a week, and sharing positive pictures, in addition to answering fun weekly questions. I’m pretty pumped about kicking off the Spring in a new and fun way.

I’ll be posting the updates pretty much every Monday, though I may have issues with linking in on weeks that I’m traveling…like next week, but we’ll see.

What are your goals for the Spring Fever Challenge?

1. Hit the gym 4-5 times a week. I’ve just started weight lifting this last weekend, so right now my plan is to lift and do cardio on Mondays/Wednesdays/Fridays and do just cardio on Tuesdays/Thursdays. I do a daily ab routine too, so I’m going to keep that one going as well.

2. Healthy eating. I’ve been working for most of this year to incorporate healthier eating into my diet. For this challenge, I want to get at least 2 servings of fruit and veggies a day. That may not seem like a lot, but for me, it’s definitely building in the right direction. I’m also going to try to drink more water and less soda, I’m down to only 1 coke zero a day during the week, so now it’s about getting my weekends more on track with that.

3. Something positive. I want to write down 3-5 positive things every day. I have found it way to easy to get down about being far away from my friends and family that I forget how amazing it is to be living where I am. So, even if the only good thing I can say is that it was sunny outside today, then I want to say it – I want to start looking for the bright side more and the negative less.

4. Self-Image. This one may be the hardest one for me. I am incredibly self-critical. I bash myself to myself and to my husband. I want to stop. Now. So for the duration of this challenge, I’m not allowed to deflect compliments, I’m not allowed to criticize myself, I’m not allowed to rag on myself for anything. I want to write down at least one thing I like about myself every day too.

5. Adventurous eating. I want to try 10 new recipes over this challenge. I’m going with 10 because I already know that I’m going to be spending a couple of weeks on vacation and I won’t be able to cook. But, yeah, I want to get out of the cooking rut that I’ve fallen into.

Why did you choose them?

I chose these goals for a couple of reasons. The healthy eating/working out goals were chosen to help me make my goal size of a 6 by the commissioning ceremony this May. Originally we were supposed to be taking our honeymoon that week (finally, only 9 months late) but it looks like that won’t be getting to happen thanks to B’s work schedule. Still, I’m right at the small size of an 8 right now and I want to finish transitioning into a 6. I was going to make this a weight-loss goal to get down to 150 lbs, but, since I’m starting weight lifting, I know that I may not see any changes on the scale, so as long as my inches drop, I’m okay with that.

For the positive outlook on life and myself, I’ve been in a funk ever since moving here last September. I’ve been lonely but I’ve started to wallow in it and I want to climb out of it. My hope is that by writing out some positive things and not bashing myself that I can remind my mind that it likes to be happy.

The recipe idea is because B and I have been working really hard to cut down how much we eat out. And, part of the success of that depends on us actually meal planning, but I get bored easily, so new recipes are a must.

What is your plan of action to make them happen?

The workout and eating plans are the easy ones – I have a husband who is a work-out fiend that makes sure I get to the gym every day during the week or that I make it up on the weekend if I skip a day. I already know that 11-15 April will be a fail in terms of going to the gym, because I’ll be in Rome, but, we’ll be doing a lot of walking, so I’m going to be counting that.

As to the positive outlook stuff, I’m going to keep a document open on my desktop and make writing in it a part of my nightly ritual.

What does this challenge mean to you?

It’s a chance to focus my energy and direct my craziness. I can be all over the place, so this gives me some accountability for making my goals actually happen. I’m all about being the best me possible right now and I see this challenge as being a good vehicle for that.
Fun Question of the Week: Let’s  get to know each other! What is something most people (er… fellow bloggers) don’t know about you?

This would have been easier to post if I hadn’t just done a 10 facts about me the other day. Still, I’m going to pretend that I’m reaching a whole new audience now thanks to SFC, so, I’ll go with:

I met my husband, B, out dancing at a country-western dancehall/bar. Neither one of us was looking for anything serious – I’d had nothin but disaster relationships and he’d just ended a long distance, long term relationship. We were looking for a few weeks of fun while he was in town for some training. We spent 3 weeks dating and then decided to do long distance. It worked. We met in Nov 09, got engaged 7 Aug 10, got married 17 Aug 10, and have been happily married ever since. We also haven’t had a wedding yet, the good ole USAF is doing their best to keep us from having one…

Positive Picture:

Dingle Peninsula, Ireland - Living a dream

~The Countess~