Posted by: texancountess | July 1, 2009

hazy confusion

I haven’t posted because I haven’t known what to say. I’m struggling really badly here in San Antonio right now. I feel trapped. Trapped by my living situation – yes it’s free but it comes with it’s own price. Trapped by my job – it’s unfulfilling. Everyday I ask myself why I got a master’s degree to do this. Trapped by everything. I have no friends outside of the folks I live with. And, that situation is starting to deteriorate. And I’m sure they’d be shocked to hear me say so. But, I feel like an intruder and a burden. And it sucks to feel that way in your “home.”

I’m trying to trust God that he has a plan in all of this, but right now, I can’t see the way out. I have no idea why he brought me here. I want out. But I don’t know where to go.

And this is why I haven’t been posting. Because it’s bad enough to fight the tears when I’m trying to go to sleep. But admitting to them elsewhere…

~The Countess~


Responses

  1. I wish things were better for you. Can you find somewhere else to live? That might help a little.

  2. well if you’re looking to move back to Houston, I’m looking for a roommate =)

    • I’m not sure what’s going on. I’m interviewing for a teaching position at a school here in town and I’m applying for a position in Tennessee. So, who knows. I do miss Houston though. So, I’ll keep you informed. :)


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